


patience yields... disappointment

by Francowitch



Series: py...d [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Background Relationships, Endgame Sheith, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Minor Kolivan/Krolia (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Prekerberos, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Francowitch/pseuds/Francowitch
Summary: Everything was wrong… How could this be their future? There is no way that this was how it was all supposed to end...
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Series: py...d [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048114
Comments: 40
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is... something.
> 
> It took me over a year to write this fic, I can honestly say Im not even 100% certain that I really love it overall. I know when I started it was only a few weeks post the final day, and well it was emotional to write. At some point, it definitely got away from me, and I had to take breaks between writing it. Despite all of that, I am going to throw it out to the ether and hope for the best. 
> 
> Also you might notice, I will use any other descriptor for a certain cardboard cutout that was used in the season that shall not be named. I will not EVER acknowledge that ending it was horrible and well... its a road I don't want to go down again.
> 
> Big thank you to [Glimmerystarlight ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glimmerystarlight) and [Lorindaa ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorindaa/) for looking over this and encouraging me along the way!
> 
> This is for the most part, just Mature rated due to language and content. The Explicit wont happen until the end which I will be putting into a separate one off but attached as a series.

###  **Chapter 1**

Keith wasn’t sure where it all went wrong, but something along the way sure as fuck changed. Perhaps it was the moment that they entered the rift. Keith would love to blame it all on Lotor, but perhaps it wasn’t just him, especially given what they had seen during their fight in the witch’s mindscape. Keith was most surprised to find that he felt sorry for the exiled prince. That, like so many things, he was wronged and should not have died. 

“Everything okay, Keith?”

Keith looked up to see his mother standing beside him, concern in her eyes. He gave her a weak smile, inviting her to sit down. “I’m fine.”

“You’ve been saying that a lot lately, kid,” Krolia sat back in the chair, gazing over the crowded dance floor, “and while your lips are saying you’re fine, your eyes certainly are not. You haven’t stopped looking at him, save for when he looks to you.”

Keith rubbed his fingers along the bridge of his nose. “It’s just, I don’t know how or what happened, but this all doesn’t feel right.”

“Aww kid,” Krolia frowned, “I know you had a thing for--”

“No,” Keith interrupted his mother, “I don’t think you understand mom, it wasn’t just a ‘thing’ or a one sided crush either. This isn’t right.”

Krolia bit her lip, uncertain of what she could say to her son who was clearly hurting. 

“Mom, I know that you think that this is just the way things are. That it was one sided or whatever. Thing is we didn’t tell anyone, and maybe it’s my fault. I don’t know, but all of this feels weird and wrong. I mean who is that guy? I don’t remember him at all, ever.”

What do you mean you didn’t tell anyone?”

“Remember our time on the whale?” Keith looked Krolia in the eye.

She nodded, “There were several events, I remember.”

“That was all before, it was just after that,” Keith peeked a glance at the dance floor, his face flushing as he saw the pair dancing together. “After he was brought back, Shiro and I, we talked. We started seeing each other, quietly. No one knew, it was just, we wanted to be sure. I was stupid. Clearly.”

Krolia’s hand covered Keith's, “What happened? Did you break up?”

“No,” Keith shook his head, his eyes were prickling like he were about to cry, “That’s the thing. We didn’t, it's just that he changed. I would try to call him to see him and he would brush me off. It was as though he didn’t even remember us.”

“Maybe he was seeing someone else during that time as well.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “And just how is that happening? We were in space, no contact with Earth at all. I just. I don’t know how to express this, but it is wrong. It’s like somehow we ended up in the wrong universe or dimension. It isn’t even just _him_ , it is a lot of things. Like Allura, why would she give up everything?”

“She had to.”

“Mom. After all you have seen, after all we have done. There were always other options.”

“Maybe this time there wasn’t”

“I don’t know,” Keith shook his head with a sigh, “I have been thinking of this a lot, especially after the lions all left. The others seemed alright with it, but I can still feel them. Black, and Red both.”

“Have you told anyone?”

Keith shook his head, “No, I mean what could they do?”

“What if you aren’t the only one that sees this?”

Keith bit his lip as he scanned the room, everyone else dancing and laughing. Even Lance seemed to have a smile on his face, “I don’t know, for all I know I’m wrong and it’s all in my head. But still…”

Krolia watched her son with concern as his sentence dropped and his eyes watched as they always did, the shape of one person as they crossed the dance floor. Her skin prickled as she realized they were being watched just as intensely. Looking in the direction she could see Kolivan steadily watching them, in the briefest moment they made eye contact and a thousand words seemed to pass between the two Galra Blade members. She looked back to her son, her hand tapping the top of his before she retracted it.

“I get the feeling that you aren’t alone in this.”

Keith looked to her, his violet eyes wide, “You believe me?”

Krolia pursed her lips, tapping her clawed finger to her chin, “I believe that you feel that this is truth, and I for one would want to find out if it is. Something though, I do think that you need a break, to go away for a while. Staying here won’t do you any good.”

Keith nodded, taking his glass of champagne, something that was from the toast, still untouched. He threw it back in one shot, “You’re right, I need to leave.”

Keith pushed his seat away from the table and got up without another word. He quietly stalked out of the reception without even looking behind him. Krolia noticed how the long haired Blades leader followed her son with a small nod in Krolia’s direction. At least Keith will be cared for. She poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle on the table. Now, what to do about what he had said? That would require some thought.

* * *

“What is your plan little one?” Kolivan’s deep voice followed Keith.

“I don’t know,” Keith shook his head, not slowing down as he packed away his gear. “I just can’t stay here, not with everything like _this_.”

“If you need I have a few missions which will require you to go to the far reaches,” Kolivan said slowly, “it will give you the time and space that you are needing.”

Keith nodded, “Thank you, Kolivan.”

There was a soft knock at Keith’s door, Kolivan went to answer. “I’ll be just outside.”

Keith didn’t need Kolivan to tell him who the visitor was as the footsteps were ones he recognized, yet were not the ones he hoped to hear. 

“What did you want, Lance?” Keith turned to see Lance staring at him, his blue eyes wide. 

“I noticed that you had left,” Lance said, “where are you going?”

“Somewhere not here. I thought out of anyone you would understand that.”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Lance looked down at his feet, “I’m sorry, this must be hard for you.”

Keith could feel his chest tightening. “You have no idea.”

“I know that he was important to you, what he meant to you.”

Keith looked up glaring, “None of you knew.”

“It’s okay to be hurt, Keith,” Lance’s voice was soft, his new Altean marks glowed on his cheekbones, reminding Keith of all they had lost.

“ _Why couldn’t it have been me?_ ” Keith cried, feeling his heart break all over again.

Lance stepped forward, pulling Keith into a crushing hug. “You know that this won’t make it better? Just running away like this.”

Keith gently pushed Lance away huffing out a breath, “I’m not-- I’m not running away.”

“But you are leaving?”

“Yes.” Keith turned back to his bag, stuffing the remainder of his clothing inside.

“When will you be back?”

Keith looked to Lance, clapping him on the shoulder, “Don’t tell me that you are going to miss me, Lance.”

Lance snorted, his cheeks flushing slightly, “No. Nonononono. No. Kosmo though, him I will miss.”

Keith chuckled, “I’ll miss you too man, but if you need to talk for any reason, just talk to Pidge. She will know how to get a hold of me.”

With that, Keith stepped around Lance and made his way to the door where the large Space Wolf waited for him. Keith took a moment to ruffle the thick fur, “Do you still hear them at all, Lance?”

There was a pause before Lance responded, “Sometimes, late at night. Like it is part of a dream that I can’t wake from, but also can’t grasp fully.”

Keith nodded, opening the door, “I think that they are searching for something, and are calling us home.” 

“If you find--” Lance stopped, the sentence hanging in the air between them.

Keith looked over his shoulder, “You’ll be the first one I call, well, Pidge will be the first you will be a close second.”

Lance bit his lower lip nodding, “Good luck.”

Keith waved his hand and walked out of the door to where Kolivan and his mother were waiting for him, both having changed from their formal attire to their Blades uniform. 

“Are you sure about this, Keith?” Krolia asked, her eyes hard.

Keith snorted, “Anything is better than this reality. It has to be.”

Kolivan nodded, “Ready?”

“Let’s go.” Keith whistled to the Wolf as they walked down the quiet halls of the Atlas, towards the hanger where Kolivan had a ship ready and waiting for them.

* * *

It had taken much longer than Keith had hoped. Along the way he would take on missions for the Blades. While the main war might have been over, there were still many outlying systems and planets in need of assistance. Together with the Blades, Keith ensured that he upheld the lessons he had learned over his time with the Paladins, with Shiro. As they travelled, as they searched, more and more Keith saw signs that only pointed to how things were wrong. At one point his mother theorized that the problem actually started sometime during their time on the whale. That perhaps two years wasn’t the only thing they had lost, but also they had slipped into the wrong timeline entirely. 

Keith wasn’t sure that it was that easy.

Lately nothing was.

The ring from his communicator pulled Keith from his thoughts, “yes?”

The image of his mother showed up on the screen, “Keith, I think we might have something. If you can come to Kolivan’s room, don’t let anyone else know you are coming.”

Keith nodded, closing out the screen.

* * *

“Your mother may have figured out a way to get back,” Kolivan spoke when Keith arrived. 

“I thought that she didn’t completely believe me on this.”

Kolivan cocked his head, “Krolia is battle hardened. Being with the Blaes and at war for as long as she has, it makes a soldier jaded. The idea that this universe is not correct is a lot for someone like her to understand or believe.”

Keith shook his head, “Yet you seem so on board with it all.”

Kolivan sighed, “I’m also much older and have seen more things. I think you also forget that I was there when you did your test. I saw who it was that you saw in the simulator. I also remember how he reacted when watching you struggle. The man we saw a few months ago was not the same man. He hasn’t been for a while either, I suspect.”

Keith looked down to his feet, his heart clenching in his chest. “I have to try and figure out when it all changed. Where I have to go back in order to fix this.”

“That is definitely something you need to know in order for this to work,” Krolia spoke as she entered the room. 

Keith shifted in his seat slightly as he heard the sound of the Wolf blinking his mother into the room with them. “You found something, mom?”

Krolia nodded as she took a seat beside Kolivan. It wasn’t the first time where Keith had wondered if the two of them had something of a relationship. The way they moved together in sync, it reminded him of himself and Shiro. How they used to be. Keith grimaced, feeling his heart clench once again.

“Are you alright, Keith?” Krolia looked to her son with concern. More and more she noticed his despondency. She was worried that it would spill over to his missions, make him reckless, which could lead to disaster.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded slowly, “I’m alright, I’ve just been tired lately. Some sleep will help, but that isn’t really a concern. What did you find?”

“How could you mean that it isn’t a concern?” Krolia snapped, “You are part of a team, if you get sloppy it isn’t just your own life on the line.”

Kolivan place his hand on Krolia’s thigh, silencing her rant, “Krolia does have a point Keith, you have been pushing yourself beyond your limits. This does no one any good. You will likely need to be at full power in order to handle what comes before you.”

Keith huffed out a breath, “Yes, I know. I just can’t rest. Everytime I close my eyes I just see it replaying over and over. And if it isn’t that cursed wedding, it is when I was fighting him, not him, the clone.”

“Tell him what you found, Krolia,” Kolivan commanded.

Krolia nodded her eyes hard, “Very well. Keith, you remember our time on the whale?”

Keith huffed out a breath, pressing at the bridge of his nose, “Vividly.”

“There is another area that is similar to the Abyss,” Krolia started, “only instead of just visions you can allegedly go through the portals to the time in question.”

Keith closed his eyes, he could remember the time on the whale, the flashes through the Abyss. The images of his past, his parents. Reliving his father’s death, the emotion, and the pain. 

“Keith?” Krolia asked quietly, “Are you still with me?”

Keith shook his head looking to his mother, “Yeah, I’m still with you. So it is like the Abyss but not.”

Krolia nodded, “This will require you to actually know exactly what point you are looking to jump to.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Keith noticed the slight hesitation.

“If we just let you go now.” Krolia licked her lips, “If you go now, then there is no returning. The rifts at this place are not static, they jump and move to different places.”

Keith sighed, “So I would essentially be going on a mission that success or fail, I might never see you again or possibly even meet you.”

Krolia nodded, “That is of course assuming that your jump is successful.”

“We actually have a thought on this,” Kolivan spoke, his voice measured as always. 

“There is no way to test this though,” Krolia shook her head, “that rig is a worse idea than Keith just jumping through the first portal he finds.”

“Rig?” Keith looked from Kolivan to Krolia, “What do you mean?”

“Kolivan, has a thought that we could have a contraption made.” Krolia sighed, “Something akin to the teleduv, but smaller.”

“Who would we have build it?” Keith asked, intrigued. 

Krolia huffed, “I can’t believe you are even contemplating it.”

“If it means a chance to ensure I can go back, then it is worth the risk. Already what I am doing is close to being a suicide mission. Why not make there be more of a chance for me to get back?”

Krolia pressed her fingers to her temples, “Fine. We just have to be careful who it is that we use for this. It will be dangerous and I don’t think that having a lot of questions asked would be a good thing.”

“If Ulaz were still alive, or even Antok…” Kolivan’s voice trailed off.

“Matt Holt.” Keith said, “Him or Pidge. You can trust them.”

“Keith,” Krolia spoke, “are you sure?”

Keith nodded, his eyes hard, “They both have the smarts, and won’t -- just trust me.”

“As you wish.” Krolia nodded. 

Kolivan stood up, “If that is all, I will leave contacting them to you, Keith. As well I will leave to you just how much you let these Holts know.”

Keith nodded, “I will go do that now.” Keith clicked his tongue, his Wolf looking up, his head cocked, “Thanks again, both of you. I know it hasn’t been easy, and I’m not sure how much either of you really believe me. I appreciate your helping me despite it.”

Kolivan and Krolia watched as Keith and the Wolf blinked out of the room.

Kolivan groaned, “I don’t think I will ever get used to that.”

Krolia snorted, “Yeah, even after two years with him, it can be shocking. Now what?”

“Now we wait.”

Krolia nodded, “I hope this is the right choice.”


	2. Chapter 2

###  **Chapter 2**

“So I am almost done with things here. When do you think you can swing by to check it out?”

Keith looked at the small monitor, Pidge’s familiar face looking back at him. “Soon.”

She sighed, rolling her eyes, “He isn’t here, you know.”

“Then sooner than soon.”

“I’m still not sure why you need something like this.” Pidge shook her head, adjusting her glasses.

Keith cocked his head, “Really? Cause you know that Lance always dreamed of being a farmer, that is why he made up a rivalry with me.”

“Well, yeah that was kind of weird.” Pidge nodded, “But you know Shi-- he seems happy now. I know you liked him, but sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to.”

“It really isn’t about that.” Keith sighed as he caught the look from Pidge, “Okay fine. It isn’t  _ just _ about that. There are just a few things that to me makes no sense. Ever since we woke up in the hospital, hell might have been before that; small moments that just didn’t feel  _ right _ .”

Pidge sighed leaning back. “Well, you might have a point.”

“If you didn’t believe me on some level Pidge, I know you wouldn't have made this for me.”

Pidge snorted, “You’re damn right about that.”

“You’re also the only one in the galaxy who I could trust with this.”

“And my brother said no?” Pidge smirked.

Keith shrugged, “You were my first choice, I just saw Matt before I had seen you.”

“Sure.” Pidge looked over her shoulder, with a wince. Keith could hear Colleen calling out in the background sounding none too pleased. “Crap, gotta run, mom is pissed about something. Not sure if it is from the mess I made, the one Matt made, or Dad.”

Keith chuckled, “See ya, and thanks.”

“No problem, oh quiznak! That’s her again. Bye.”

The screen went dark, and Keith flopped back onto his bed finding the Wolf right under his head as he landed. 

This was it. 

He now had the technology to get to where he needed to go, but the question was not just where but also  _ when _ ?

There were so many factors to consider, and how to correct it was another thought. Was he really the right person to do it? Keith knew he wasn’t exactly the most level-headed of the group, but truly he had grown after his years with the Paladins and the extensive training from the Blades. He was no longer that same hot-headed teenager who flew head first into situations. At least he tried not to be, with one exception which was where Shiro was concerned.

Keith groaned, rolling over to nuzzle against Wolf’s side. “What do I do?”

The massive cosmic Wolf whined putting his head against Keith like he too had no idea of what to suggest.

* * *

Keith arrived on earth without much fuss. He wanted to be in and out of orbit long before Shiro or others got wind that he was even there. Thanks to Kolivan he had been able to hitch a ride with one of the newer members of the Blades, who had to deliver something to Iverson and the remaining force that governed the new Coalition. As they had been landing Keith sent a message to Pidge letting her know that they were there and he would have the Wolf teleport him to her lab once he heard from her. 

Keith wanted to keep his visit a secret, as he knew the moment Iverson or any of the higher ups knew he was on Earth then there would be no end to the requests and meetings. He also wanted to avoid a certain white haired commander. The transport would wait for only a few hours before it had to leave port, with or without Keith. 

The minutes ticked by, with Keith impatiently waiting for the call. He was about ready to just try his luck when his wrist communicator pinged and Pidge’s familiar icon popped up. Keith wound his fingers into the giant wolf’s fur, “Let’s go buddy, to Pidge’s lab.”

* * *

“What do you mean it isn’t a jump drive?” Keith growled pacing Pidge’s lab, a feat unto itself given how it was cluttered with what an untrained eye might call junk. 

Pidge leaned against one of her work benches, where she had a cybernetic arm taken apart. “You are far too tense,” Pidge sighed.

“And you’re too glib,” Keith snarled back.

Pidge held up her hands, “Okay, here is the thing, I was doing the calculations and the amount of power needed to do a time jump is insane. Like, remember the scene with Doc Brown learning about the one point twenty-one gigawatts? It is literally that level of insanity.”

Keith rubbed his hands across his face,”So this was all just a wasted trip, and I will have to spend my days pretending to be happy for  _ them, _ when I know it isn’t right.”

“I didn’t say that. Also, you called all that, being happy?” Pidge scrunched up her nose.

“Did anyone die?”

“Fair point,” Pidge chuckled.

“I guess I can just call Kolivan and see if there are any long missions available.” Keith sighed, he knew it had been a long shot from the start, this had not been out of the realm of possibilities. 

Pidge grumbled, “Would you turn off emo-mode for like five minutes?”

Keith stopped his path as he gave Pidge a dark look, “ _ Seriously _ ?”

“Listen,” Pidge continued ignoring Keith’s scowl, “I was doing the calculations and realized that you can get the power if you were to use the Lions.” 

Keith’s jaw tightened as he did his best to control himself from blowing up on his pint-sized friend. “ _ Kathryn-I-Hate-When-You-Call-Me-That-Holt  _ I swear to all that is unholy--”

Pidge cackled, “You are hanging around Lance too much, but trust me on this.”

“And just how am I using a Lion that is not available?”

“Not easily available, but certainly trackable.” Pidge shrugged, holding up a small black device that looked like a watch with a thick band.

“You made a tracker?” Keith walked towards Pidge accepting the little device she held in her hands.

“I made a tracker,” Pidge nodded with a grin, “we, or rather you, can track down Black and with her can jump.”

“But does she even want to be found?” Keith asked his voice low and hurt, “They left us with no real warning.”

“I believe that they are searching for her.” Pidge responded, her voice held the same pain Keith felt in his heart.

“There is so much that shouldn’t have happened.” 

Pidge adjusted her glasses, “You may be right, and hopefully you can prove it by fixing the timeline. Shouldn’t be too difficult.”

Keith snorted, “I’m sure it will be like riding that space whale, just a quick jump back.”

“If you can even jump back.”

“What?” Keith looked up from his wrist where the device was sitting, “What do you mean,  _ if  _ I can jump back?”

Pidge shook her head, “There is no guarantee that this will even work, Keith. For all we know this is a suicide mission which will lead only to your going missing and or dying. I mean, it might work out too and no one will be the wiser. Save yourself of course, the living paradox. Have you even thought this through?”

Keith’s hair fell around his face, his tone hard as he spoke. “I would rather die trying than to feel like I am dying with every moment, every breath, in this reality.”

The silence between them was tangible.

Keith sighed, “Thanks for this Pidge, I better get back to the hanger we are scheduled back soon.”

Pidge nodded, her fingers running through the Wolf’s fur, “Good luck out there, and say hi to Green when you see her.”

Keith smiled, his eyes still sad. “Of course.”

“Before you go,” Pidge looked up, “I think it was earlier than Clear Day.”

“What?”

“Something happened back when he was brought back, likely has to do with being inside Black’s mind space for so long.”

“You think that he didn’t come back, right?” Keith asked, his voice faltering, “Maybe I messed up bringing him back. It isn’t like I asked him what he wanted, I just yanked him out without-- This is all my fault…”

Pidge jumped up, her hand out, “No I don’t mean it that way, oh god no. Listen here Keith, no one regrets Shiro being back,” Keith flinched at the use of his name, “you need to hear this, no one regrets this. I just think that something happened between then and when we were all floating out there. I really wonder if some part of that clone is still in there.”

“Or that not all of Shiro made it out.”

“Yes.”

Keith scrubbed his face with his hands, what the hell was he going to do? There were just too many variables, too many things that could have been that pinnacle, the tipping point. Keith touched his cheekbone where the scar was still slightly raised.

“I know when I will go,” Keith whistled to the Wolf who turned back to Keith, its tail swishing behind them.

“Good luck,” Pidge said to Keith, her eyes still full of concern.

“Thank you for everything Pidge, here is hoping I find her and she is willing to help me.” Keith shook his wrist towards his friend.

Pidge chuckled, “You were good with your deep connections with both Black and Red. If anyone can do this I know it is you. Don’t die out there, okay? Promise you aren’t just looking for your own death.  _ He wouldn’t want that. _ ”

Keith shrugged, “I’m not sure he would care.”

Pidge felt something in her chest tighten as Keith looked down to his furry companion and they blinked out of her workshop. A few ticks later Shiro walked in his face pale and eyes wide.

“Shiro?” Pidge startled seeing him walk into the room.

“That was Keith’s voice just now?” Shiro’s voice was strained, “Where did he go?”

“To find answers,” Pidge replied.

“But I heard something about him dying.”

Pidge swallowed thinking on how she would reply, “If he were, would it mean anything to you?”

“That isn’t an answer, Pidge,” Shiro’s voice warbled, “where is he now? I need to talk to him.”

“Gone.”

“Damnit Pidge!” Shiro slammed his hand onto the workbench, tools and bits of metal clattering to the floor before he spun around and dashed out of her lab, likely in the direction of the hanger.

* * *

Keith was breaking through the atmosphere as he got the message from Pidge that Shiro was running towards the hanger. He leaned back against the cold wall of the shuttle with a soft sigh, his fingers playing with the soft fur of the Wolf beside him.

“Did you need us to turn back around, sir?” The Blade at the wheel asked as he heard the ping on Keith’s communicator.

Keith shook his head, “No, it wasn’t anything important. We need to get back to the main fleet, back to Kolivan, I have to report in. Besides, as far as anyone is concerned, I was never even here.”

“As you command sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support in the opening chapter! 
> 
> next update: 14 Dec 2020


	3. Chapter 3

###  **Chapter 3**

“Be careful out there, Keith,” Krolia’s voice came over the coms of the small craft Keith was piloting.

“You know me, mom.” 

“That is why I am saying what I’m saying. Kolivan says that according to your readings you should be close to a new cluster that was reported a few phoebs back. He is saying that we are likely to lose connection in another varga or so.” She paused, “It’s not too late to come back.”

Keith scowled at the screen, “If this was about dad, what would you do?”

Krolia sighed. “I just… listen I lost you and your father both once before. I guess I’m just hesitant to let you go once again.”

Keith felt a twinge of pain in his chest, “I swear I won’t do anything that will stop our meeting. I will find you no matter what.”

“You better.”

The screen started getting filled with static, and the next words from Krolia were lost as it fizzed out into a show of snow and white noise. The Wolf cocked its head at Keith and gently licked his cheek.

Keith chuckled, flipping the switch to turn off the noise, “Hey buddy, it’s okay. We are just out of range.”

Keith checked the indicator on his watch from Pidge. It was still blinking strongly, leading them deeper and deeper into space. He tapped on the screen to check his gauges. They should have enough fuel to get there. The Wolf laid his head on Keith’s arm, a huff coming from him. 

“I’m not sure how much longer it will take to get there,” Keith spoke, “but according to Kolivan and mom there is a new nebula reported. At least there were rumours. That we will know it when we see it, cause it looks like  _ her _ .”

The Wolf whined in response.

“Yeah, this trip should help fix all of that,” Keith slammed his hand against the armrest, “I’m going to fix everything that went wrong.”

_ What if it doesn’t? _ The thought echoed, screamed in the back of his mind. The question that was in everyone’s eyes when they heard Keith’s plan. As though it weren’t the front contender of thoughts for Keith, it was the thought that kept him from doing anything until now. It is the thought that allowed him to keep pushing forward, thinking maybe that everything would be find post battle. What if it were just stress, that PTSD thing that the doctors kept saying was natural for people who went through a fraction of what they had one as Paladins? Eventually that man who had always been there for Keith, the one who was first on his mind the moment he rose from bed and last thought before sleep took him at the end of the day.

Each moment that didn’t add up, even the death of the exiled prince turned Emperor. How could everything have broken down the way that it did. After all they had seen and gone though at the end of it all. This was not how it should have ended.

Keith grunted as he pushed his little ship deeper, further. This is not how it was going to end for him. Not today.

Even if it doesn’t change anything, even if it ends in his own undoing. It was worth it. 

The weight of his words to Pidge;  _ “I would rather die trying than to feel like I am dying with every moment, every breath, in this reality.” _

Forwards. 

* * *

“Pidge what do you mean that he is trying to find the Lions?” Shiro demanded for what seemed like the hundredth time that week.

Pidge continued to work on her robot, “I don’t know how many ways I can tell you the same thing. I mean, as it is, I think I was pretty clear that last ninety-nine odd times I have told you.”

“Damnit Katie,” there was a crunch of metal as Shiro hit something with his Altean arm making Pidge’s eye twitch.

“Takashi Shirogane, I swear to all that is holy that if you have destroyed something in my lab you will be banned from ever stepping foot in here again.” She turned to see the older man looking slightly ashamed with his floating arm ‘hidden’ behind his back. She threw out her hand, “ _ Shiro _ .”

Shiro visibly deflated as his arm floated around showing a crumpled piece of metal.

“What is that fro--”

Shiro moved slightly showing her work table, once a solid sheet of thick metal was now crumpled on one corner with a chunk missing. 

“Is this what a stroke feels like?” Pidge’s voice was tense but measured, “I’m pretty certain this is what a stroke feels like.”

“I’m sorry Pidge I didn’t meant o--”

“You destroyed my bench with your gorilla arm!” Pidge yelled pointing at the damage. 

“I’m really sorry, I just need to know where--” Shiro swallowed watching as the short woman cracked her knuckles, “Pidge? What are you--”

“I’m just getting ready to do some adjustments,” an evil glint shone in her eyes as she adjusted her glasses and reached for a screwdriver, “clearly your arm isn’t calibrated properly and I intend to fix that problem. Permanently.”

“You know what,” Shiro carefully laid down the ruined piece of metal before backing out of the lab, “I’m just going to head home and maybe call Krolia in the morning. Thanks for everything Pidge, bye.”

Pidge sighed as the door slid shut behind Shiro, rubbing the bridge of her nose, “Keith, I really hope you know what you are doing man.”

* * *

It was just as Kolivan’s scouts had reported, a new nebula that looked very much like the shape of a woman. No. Not just a woman, it was as though Allura herself were curled up in a fetal position.

“There she is,” Keith whispered.

The Wolf sat up from where he was resting, his great tail thumping against the floor.

“Almost there boy, we are almost home.”

Keith gasped then smiled as he felt the familiar thrum of Black and Red in the back of his mind. Like wrapping himself with an old blanket, comforting. Keith closed his eyes as he guided the small craft towards the purple coloured nebula, stretching out his subconscious to locate the Lions. 

There. Keith gasped, “Found you girl.”

Keith opened his eyes, pushing the craft to its limits. There wasn’t much more fuel the further and deeper they traveled. This was a one way trip, Keith knew that if he didn’t find them by the time his tank ran empty that he would be unable to return.

Keith could hear the familiar roar from Black and Red, both resonating, calling to him. They had been waiting for someone to see what was wrong, to see what had happened. They were waiting for him. Keith maneuvered the small ship onto the moon where he could feel their presence the strongest. Fitting that it was located around where the Princess’ heart would be on the Nebula. 

Landing Keith let out a sigh, “We are here boy.”

Keith turned off the console, the rest of the way would have to be traversed by foot. Swiftly Keith moved through the cabin snatching up the rucksack he had packed along with his communicator. While useless currently, it might come in handy later on. Keith braided back his hair and tucked it all under his hood which he pulled up and activated his helmet. With a sharp whistle to the wolf Keith opened the bay doors. 

The landscape of the moon was barren and vast, it reminded him much of his home back on Earth. Instead of red clay the surroundings were a pale blue-grey. There were no life forms on the moon, which was good given that Keith was in no mood to fight. 

When this was all through Keith made a promise to himself that he would go back there, be with  _ him _ . Watch another sunset over the dusty horizon, and really appreciate the orange-red glow, and the warmth from the man at his side. Together Keith and the Wolf raced across the desert, occasionally Keith would twine his fingers into his hair and they would teleport a few hundred paces forward. 

Each press forward Keith could hear the Lions calling to him, loud and demanding. It was nearly three vargas later Keith caught his first glimpse of where Black was resting. An alien shape against the natural backdrop, monoliths of metal rising up against the bleak horizon. 

Their roar is deafening as Keith and the Wolf approach, all of the Lions stand together in a circle. Dust and debris lightly coat them, save for two. Red and Black’s eyes shine brightly, their heads bowed to greet Keith. He touches each in turn, his hand looking impossibly small against the giant metal cats.

“They all miss you so much,” Keith spoke to the other metal sentinels, “I know they would want to be here too. I’m sorry it is just me this time.”

None of the lions gave a sign that they were listening, Blue, Yellow, and Green all silent and coated in a thin layer of space dust and debris. Red and Black alone were clean of any mess, their presence strong in the back of his mind, as though breathing, waiting for his decision. Black opened her mouth wide to allow Keith access, he sighed as he stepped up through the familiar entrance and into the cockpit, it was the same as when he had last left it. Even the scent was the same. Keith sank into the captain's chair with a sigh, the panel lighting up as the chair activated and moved forward.

“I missed you too,” Keith said softly, his chest swelling, “I need you to help me. Something, everything is wrong.”

For the first time since he had made his choice Keith burst into tears, the gentle purr that resonated inside him comforted him as he cried. The Wolf placed its head on Keith’s lap snuggling closer when Keith wrapped his arms around him. They stayed like that for a while, Keith feeling himself drain of the past few years. 

Then the tears stopped, Keith could still feel Black all around him, with Red too tugging at the corner of his mind. He had made it, they missed him, all of them. It was time. 

“I want to go back in time,” Keith spoke to the Lion, “I want to fix what went wrong. Allura never should have died, and even Lotor. It wasn’t right. Also--” Keith’s voice shook, he couldn’t say the name aloud. “I think I fucked up bringing him back, something went wrong.”

Black rumbled, her engines on and the cockpit lit up and ready. A loud roar resonated from the metal lion which Keith took as her agreement. 

“Shall we then go save them all?”

The remaining four lions lit up, shaking their great heads as they roared in accent. 

“I’m not sure how we do this Black,” Keith admitted, “but I have a plan that involves jumping into something like the rift. Only instead of going to the quintessence field or another reality, we are going to be jumping through our own time stream.”

Keith felt Black agree, she understood. The image of where he and his mother had spent two years came to his minds eye. 

“Yes, that is where we are going girl.” Keith sighed, “I’m scared.”

There was something that Keith could only describe as a chuckle, the lions were so old. What was one more adventure? Fear was not something which they considered anymore. Keith knew whatever would happen, Black would keep him safe. 

It was time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> choo choo... here comes the feel train...

###  **Chapter 4**

The first step is always the hardest, that was something Keith remembered his Father saying whenever he would stumble over something. It was his father who he thought of as together with Black they took their first jump. Perhaps that was the first mistake.

Everything was a swirl of white light and noise, Keith could feel the cockpit around him shift and change, pressing against him. It was only the constant presence of black which kept Keith from screaming at the pain. When it ended, it reminded Keith of coming off of the centrifuge that they used for training in back at the Garrison. Everything around him spun and tilted. He knew that if he stood up too quickly he would throw up what little contents were in his stomach, so he sat with his eyes closed taking deep, slow breaths.

“So, girl,” Keith spoke to the lion, “just where did we end up?”

Keith slowly opened his eyes, blinking back the bright light that was filtering through the display. As his eyes adjusted he recognized the red mesas of Arizona. 

This was his old home. Earth.

“Why are we back on Earth?” Keith asked, his breathing steady despite his pounding heart, “Is this before Kerberos? Before everything?”

There was only a responding purr from Black. She was there, but had no real answer for him either. Keith activated the invisibility cloak that Pidge had added to all of the lions long ago.

“I don’t want to scare anyone or cause a disturbance in the time continuum or whatever it was that Pidge was saying could happen.” Keith kept talking aloud hoping it would help ease his worry. “I’m going to go and see what, or rather when we are. We might have to do that jump a few times before we get it right.”

Black purred in agreement. She would wait for her paladin, the one she considered her cub, until he was ready to leave. 

* * *

Keith slipped out of black, taking his hover bike from the haul, grateful that he had forgotten it in there before the lions had taken off. With this at least he wouldn’t be as conspicuous, and once he got closer he would be able to use his blades suit to move around.

He raced across the desert plain, a cloud of dust rising behind him. Keith took the familiar route to the shack he had called home for so many years. Only what he found was not what he remembered, or at least it wasn’t what he had left behind.

Instead of the broken down drafty shack of a cabin, it was cleaned up and there was even a small garden in front. Keith felt his chest tighten as an old memory fluttered at the edge of his vision. 

This was how it looked before. 

Keith stepped off his bike, pulling down the hood of his uniform and allowing the face mask to dissipate. This was something to take in, his home from a time before he could really remember, the time before the fire, when it wasn’t some little leaky shack. Keith’s eyes widened as he heard the storm door creak open and slam shut. He looked up to see the broad form of his father, looking a bit younger than how he last remembered. 

“Hi there,” Tex’s head cocked, “do I know you?”

“Dad--” The words escaped Keith’s lips before he could think it through.

Tex slowly walked down the porch steps his eyes wide, “How is this even possible?”

“My lion--” Keith shook his head, “uhh shit, before I say anything, what year is this? Is she here?”

“Krolia?” Tex’s voice choked, “She left, a few weeks back.”

This wasn’t just his father, this was raw, just been left with a newborn version of his father. 

“Oh.” 

Tex shook his head, “This seems impossible, but are you really my Keith? You look so much like her.”

Keith’s heart skipped hearing his name spoken by his dad, despite those moments on the space whale. The visions that he shared with his mother, it didn’t beat the real thing. Seeing and hearing him in the flesh. The knowledge that his dad, who didn’t get a chance to see him grow up could meet him now as an adult. That he was in the wrong time and would have to leave, was almost too much for Keith to bear. 

“I am,” Keith nodded, “just, uhh, older.”

“How?” Tex moved closer, his movements slow as though underwater. 

This was, no doubt, just as strange for him as it was for Keith. Unconsciously, Keith moved forward wanting to close the space between him and his father, both of them hesitating when they were no more than an arms length away. 

“It’s complicated.”

Tex nodded not asking any further questions, likely used to the lack of answers or just it being something alien, thanks to the time spent with Krolia.

“Did you want to come in son?”

Keith smiled softly but shook his head, “As tempting as that is. I don’t want to risk--”

“Time continuum stuff?” Tex sighed.

Keith chuckled, he had forgotten what a dork his father was, and his love of all things science fiction. 

“What is it?”

Keith wiped a tear from his eye, “Nothing, I just forgot how much of a dork you were. I was-- it’s just nice to see again, after so long.”

“Were huh?” Tex looked back to the house, “I guess things happen and I don’t make it?”

Keith opened his mouth to reply but shook his head, “Things happened. You didn’t do anything wrong...”

Tex nodded slowly, “Just tell me one thing. Are you happy?”

Keith sighed a wry smile on his face, “It’s hard, but I’m working on it.”

Tex closed the distance, pulling Keith against him into a tight hug. Keith felt like a dam had burst, the stress of the past few months flooding over him.

“It’s okay Starchild,” Tex spoke soothingly, his hand patting Keith’s back. 

“Mom’s alive, she found me. We found each other,” Keith murmured, he could feel Tex’s arms tighten around him, the faintest tremor running through his hold.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Tex chuckled, “your mama is one tough lady. It really wasn’t easy what she did. She really did not want to leave us, to leave you.”

Keith laughed, “You’re right, she didn’t want to leave. She is a great person, I met her. I actually have worked alongside her too.”

“The blades?” Tex clapped Keith on the arm, “How is that Cole Vann doing?”

Keith snorted, “Kolivan?”

“Yeah! Him!” Tex ruffled his hair, shaking his head, “I always get that one wrong.”

“Kolivan is well,” Keith wiped away a tear, “he is our leader, and--” 

Keith bit his tongue.

“And?” Tex prompted, “It’s okay son, you can tell me.”

“And mom is kinda with him.”

“Ahh well,” Tex sighed, “I guess it is something that can’t be helped after all. So long as she is happy, I am happy for her as well.”

Keith gripped Tex’s arm, “It isn’t like it was sudden, it is a recent thing. It’s been so many years, since--”

“It’s okay Keith,” Tex smiled, “we had our time together, and she has you now. You really do look very much like her.”

Keith could feel his cheeks heat up, “She says the same thing, only that I look like you.”

“Maybe it’s just you have the best of us both, kid,” Tex grinned. 

There was a small cry from the house, faint, the sound of a baby crying for their parent. Tex turned his head to the sound while Keith could feel the pull from Black, it was time. 

“I need to go, pop,” Keith said, his voice wavering.

“It's so sudden,” Tex gripped Keith’s shoulder.

“It's too short, and not fair.” Keith gritted his teeth.

They hugged one last time, “Be strong and confident. I think I can speak for your mother when I say this; You are the best thing to have ever happened to us and we are so proud of you. You are our Starchild.”

“Thank you,” Keith said, he could hear the cries of his younger self becoming more insistent. “You, uhh, better go.”

Tex chuckled, “Yeah.” Tex pressed his forehead against Keith then turned to walk back to the house. His hand was on the door when he turned back, “Follow your heart son, it will become clearer. You know, whatever you are doing, there was a reason you came here. Thank you, and say hi to your mama for me, tell her I’ll always love her and the gift she gave me!”

Keith nodded, unable to reply as his father stepped inside to take care of the wailing child inside the house. He took one last look at the old house with a soft smile before climbing back onto his bike and heading back into the desert towards the sentient lion who was waiting on him.


	5. Chapter 5

###  **Chapter 5**

The second jump was much easier than the first one, Keith felt his head become clearer quicker, this time his mind was focused on Shiro. Keith’s display showed the barren desert, much like what he had just left, not a big surprise given everything.

“I really should have spoken to Pidge about trying to rig something that could tell the date for me.” Keith spoke to the empty cockpit, “Hopefully this is a useful time, as next jump will require us going back to the rift for more energy.”

Black purred in agreement, that he could have her confidence in everything. There was a small chuff from the door, his Wolf ssat there his head cocked with a goofy looking grin on his face.

“Not this time, I need you to guard Black,” Keith sighed, he pulled the hood of his blades uniform up over his head, “Wish me luck, I have a feeling I am going to need it.”

Keith stepped down into the cargo bay, to straddle his speeder once more. He flew through the dark desert landscape, his mask allowing him perfect night vision beyond what his Galran heritage offered. Keith stopped by the shack first, it was just as he remembered it before leaving Earth the first time.

Run down, and abandoned.

This was not the home of his childhood shared with his father. This was the home of his young teenage self. When he was angry, well angrier, with life and what the universe had set for him. With no sight of anyone having been there for a while it could still be any point from the time he was at the Garrison to just after leaving earth. Keith sighed turning his bike towards the small patch of light in the distance that he knew was the Garrison base.

It just took a half hour to get to the base, parking his hoverbike just outside of the patrol rage, as he used to when he was younger. There was already a bike sitting there, his dad's old one, which made Keith smirk.

“I guess I know when we are,” Keith sighed to himself, activating his cloaking as he stepped to the ground. “Now lets see if I can remember how to sneak inside.”

Stealthy, Keith made his way into the old compound, moving deftly past the guards and avoiding the light. While he was wearing cloaking, he knew that in the light it could sometimes create a wavering line, that it was best when kept to the shadows where human eyes were the weakest. Keith made his way over to the Barracks where the officers lounge was located. If he wanted to know the date or details that would be the best place to go.

Keith stopped short when he saw the familiar form of Adam, Shiro’s past lover, walking into the room ahead of him. There he was alive and well, though he looked tired, likely this was post breakup. Keith remembered those nights after it had happened, the haunted look Shiro would get on occasion when he would go silent on their trips out to the desert. Perhaps he could save a few lives if this all went well. While he wasn’t a fan of what Adam had done to Shiro, Keith had never wished him to die.

Keith crouched down under the window that looked out into the hallway, designed to keep an eye out for wayward teens sneaking out of their rooms. He pressed his back against the half wall, grateful that the door was open allowing conversation to float back to him easily. There were Iverson, Adam, and Sanda. Admiral Ellen Sanda, well not an Admiral yet, that bitch is the one who sold out Voltron the first chance she had back during the war. While Shiro might have forgiven her, said that she had redeemed herself, Keith was not so forgiving.

“West?” Iverson’s familiar voice barked, “What are you doing here? I would have thought you and Takashi would have been together, you and he are usually thick as thieves together.”

There was a laugh that sounded hollow from Adam, “No, tonight he is with Keith.”

“The delinquent?” Iverson asked, no malice in his voice, but the term still bothered Keith.

“Keith isn’t that bad Iverson,” Adam chuckled, “just a little rough around the edges. I think they are good for each other.”

“I never did like that boy,” Sanda’s voice joined the pair, making Keith grip the handle of his blade subconsciously.

“Sanda,” Adam chided, “he is just a kid, and if you nurture his abilities, I do believe Shiro is right, he will be one of the best pilots we have.”

“Sure if we can get the boy to follow an order without flying off the handle, or attacking one of the other cadets.” Sanda went on, “Why not Cadet Griffin? There is a good boy, he will make a fine soldier.”

Keith smirked hearing the sigh from both Iverson and Adam. Though it was good to know it was just before the Kerberos mission, Adam and Shiro had just broken up, probably the week before. Keith poke his head around the door frame, the clock on the wall was reading after ten at night. And knowing that his speeder was in their hiding place, he knew that his younger self was likely headed back to his rooms. Even the night before that mission Shiro had been a stickler to the rules, making sure that Keith was back in his room before the patrol came round checking in on the students.

The conversation in the lounge continued on, Keith stretched his legs, feeling the pull of Black. She was restless, wanting to know if they had it right this time, she could feel how anxious Keith was feeling.

“I’ll be okay girl,” Keith whispered to himself.

Keith made his way down the semi darkened halls, hearing the muted sounds of other cadets and officers in their quarters. Keith felt his breath catch. He saw the familiar frame of Shiro, though slightly smaller from his own time. His hair was the black he remembered from back then, before the stress of his capture and time in the arena, or his transfer of consciousness from Black. This was Shiro from the Garrison, young, full of hopes and dreams for his upcoming mission to Kerberos.

Keith could feel his heart rate rising, the thrum of blood rushing through his ears. What could he do at this moment? On one hand he could tell Shiro to stay, then none of the future would happen. But, doing that would also be signing Shiro’s death warrant. While yes it would stop his being captured, the Galra invasion would still happen and they would be even less prepared for it, ensuring so much more death at the end of the day. And while what happened in the arena cost Shiro his arm, and so much, that damn witch cured him. Keith bit his lower lip, as he slowly tailed Shiro as he made his way to the rooftop access of the building.

“You can come out now,” Shiro’s voice broke through Keith’s inner thoughts.

Keith felt his breath catch, why the hell did he think he could sneak up on Shiro. Never in all the years he has known the man has he been able to sneak up on him. Just as he was about to step from the shadows he saw movement from the corner of his eye. It was his younger self stepping forward kicking stones on the rooftop as he exposed his hiding area.

“I thought I just left you in your room.” Shiro said, shaking his head.

His voice was stern but with a hint of amusement, Keith could almost see the way his eyes crinkled up betraying him.

His younger self shrugged and thumbed behind him, “I might have climbed out the window and used the fire escape.”

Shiro groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Remind me to have Iverson change you to one of the inner rooms, with no windows.”

“What? Shiro! That is not fair!” Keith cringed at the way he was whining, remembering the fear he had that Shiro would actually do that.

“You have to promise me that you will be good while I’m gone Keith,” Shiro sighed, “I won’t be around to help you if you get into any fights. Don’t make me worry about you while I’m out there.”

Keith heard his younger self grumble and groan, with a whine of  _ ‘Shiro’  _ before giving a promise of doing his best. Keith leaned against the air conditioner cover, this was the last night he would see Shiro like this. In the morning, he remembered watching as Shiro along with Matt and Sam Holt would board onto their ship and fly off into space. All three, along with the whole world watching, filled with hope and anticipation, no idea that around the corner would be despair and screens screaming  _ ‘pilot error’ _ .

The pair watched the stars for a while longer before Shiro managed to convince young Keith to go back to bed. Keith snorted internally as he heard the threat of not being allowed at the launch if he didn’t hightail it to bed that second. Followed by the scrambling of feet against the loose gravel of the roof.

“You want to come out now?” Shiro spoke, his voice devoid of amusement now that young Keith was gone. “I knew you were there before, I’m grateful that you didn’t attack my student, he is a good kid.”

“I would never attack either of you,” Keith said, his voice muffled slightly by his uniform helmet.

Keith stepped from the shadows allowing the camouflage to dissipate, he walked slowly forward his hands out to show they were empty.

“So if you are not here to hurt me?” Shiro asked, his eyes widened as he saw Keith come into view, “Who are you? You aren’t from around here are you?”

Keith laughed, “I’m from much closer than you might think, and yet so far away.”

“Is this about tomorrow? Does something go wrong with the mission?”

Keith licked his lips, how the hell did he already know? He hadn’t even decided yet what he was going to say if anything.

Shiro shook his head as he rubbed his wrist, “Don’t tell me. I want to go, no matter what the cost. I have always wanted to see the stars, and this is my last chance to do so.”

Keith closed his eyes, his heart clenching in pain. “It goes smoothly, everything. The launch, and you get there, to Kerberos, safely. Things will happen, pain, but it isn’t the last of the stars. You go up there tomorrow and it will open a whole new chapter for you.”

“Sounds exciting,” Shiro chuckled, “well, apart from the pain bit.”

“It’s only temporary, that part.” Keith felt tears building, his throat was tightening.

“If things go well,” Shiro continued not seeming to have heard the upset in Keith’s voice, “why did you come here tonight?”

“I’m just trying to fix a mistake, and I went a bit too far.” Keith coughed, trying to mask the tremor in his voice, “I thought I would visit an old memory while I was here though.”

“An old…” Shiro paused, “Keith? It’s you Keith, isn’t it? How?”

Keith shook his head, reactivating his cloaking, “I can’t, you can’t. Just go be great. I’ll be watching for you, and I will always find you. As many times as it takes.”

“Keith…”

* * *

Keith dashed off the roof. He knew right there, there was no way that he could stop the mission. Shiro needed to become the leader of Voltron, even with all the pain, the loss of his arm. Keith flew back to Black on the hoverbike. He couldn’t be there anymore, there were too many memories and Shiro looking, the way he looked. So hopeful and ready for his next big adventure, thinking it was his last chance to go off into space before his disease took him.

Keith ripped off his hood, stripping down from his Blades uniform the moment he stepped on board, suddenly feeling as though he were being constricted. What the fuck was he thinking with this whole thing? How could he be so damn arrogant? Pidge was right, there was no way to change the past. It would change too much, affect too many.

Yet.

Memories of a certain wedding floated past Keith’s mind, the fucking ridiculous statue of someone who should never have died, the look on Lance’s stupid face whenever he saw him since. Keith screamed, not that he expected an answer, it was a scream without words, and yet conveyed the pain he felt. Keith curled into a ball on his bed in the Lion, he could feel her consciousness surrounding him, trying to comfort him with her presence.

Keith was so restless, that even the Wolf hopped off the bed to sleep on his own, leaving Keith to toss and turn all night, he knew that it would be best to get off planet and jump ahead. That staying to see the launch the next day was stupid and just another way to feel pain all over again. Memories of the news reports, the news of pilot error that he knew were coming, floated in his mind’s eye. The months of living in that little shack, making maps and charts trying to figure out what went wrong. Finding Blue and starting this whole journey, this is where it all started.

This was ground zero. And for all of his resolve he couldn’t stop the first step, he couldn’t stop Shiro.

No, his brain corrected, you don’t want to stop this.

It was true, he didn’t want to rip away the chance for Shiro to see the stars, and to be cured. The next jump would be better, it had to be better.

* * *

Keith woke the next morning feeling as though he had sand in his eyes, wishing that it were a hangover due to having too much of Coran’s great grand-pappy’s Nunvill juice. With a groan he rolled from his bed and stepped into the small shower, where was the point? When did he need to change things?

Keith could hear the lecture already from Pidge about prudent planning, and how being a hot head jumping blind was not the way to do things. Drying himself off, Keith slipped into his Blades uniform, he needed to get to the launch site, he wanted to watch it one more time. Watch his best friend, his first and only crush, launch into space to achieve his dream and start on his adventure.

The hoverbike flew across the sand, a dust cloud burst behind him, giving his location away. Keith cut the motor just as he approached the launch area, away from the crowds, but close enough he would feel the rumble of the engines as it set to take off. He knew that right now his younger self was out there, having said his final goodbye with Shiro, escorted with the other families to watch from the VIP area. Keith smirked to himself, Pidge was likely there with Mrs. Holt, watching her brother and father take off. Little did they all know that it would be less than a year before their lives changed.

Keith watched the burst of smoke, he could feel the tremors vibrating through his feet. Keith could feel his heart clench as he tracked the rocket as it blasted through the atmosphere and off into the great unknown. He didn’t know how long he sat there with his Wolf staring up at the sky, the vapour trail long dissipated and the sound of the distant crowd faded.

It was time for the next jump, but the real question was when.


	6. chapter 6

###  **Chapter 6**

Keith wasn’t certain how long he stayed curled up on his bunk in Black. His head felt as though it were filled with cotton, he knew it would be another ten months before anyone had news here on Earth that the mission went sideways. Keith knew he couldn’t stay there much longer, that he and Black needed to get more of that rift energy to jump once more. 

Stretching his legs, Keith made his way over to the cockpit. There was nothing left for him here on Earth. Sitting in his seat, watching the controls come to life, Keith let out a sigh and they lifted off into the wide open sky.

Finding the right rift energy was a lot faster this time round, Keith chalked it up to knowing what they were looking for. There were a few moments of chatter where he could hear things happening, the Galran invasion slowly making its way to the outer parts of the solar system. The temptation to just take out Zarkon was strong, how much he could change, if he succeeded. More likely to get killed though, which is what kept Keith on his path. 

Black rumbled in the back of Keith’s mind as he mulled over things, “I know girl, I want to fight him too. It just isn’t our time.” Keith laughed hollowly, “None of this is our time, but you know what I mean girl, we can’t tamper with the way we came together. The universe needs Voltron, which means we have to let things happen.”

Keith threw his head back against the headrest, uncertain if he was trying to convince the lion or himself. 

* * *

“I think that we need to go back to the point just after we found Shiro the first time, well the second time,” Keith sighed as they flew through space together, “rather, we should arrive ahead. Collect him first.”

Black reverberated concern through their bond, “I know, the other me. I just think we should try to see if this works, and I have a plan. Sort of.”

With a last small nudge of her concern they jumped forward arriving on a small ice dwarf planet. Keith scanned the scenery, guiding Black to a place he remembered Shiro telling him about. 

“There, by that lake.” Keith directed her down.

Below there was a large lake, at the edge where the water met the shore, a giant tentacled monster was reaching out to attack something on the edge. Keith immediately recognized the form as he growled snatching up his blade before exiting through the lion’s mouth. In a feat much like his fight against Sendak, Keith came flying from Black’s mouth, his blade fully extended and swinging to slice the muscled limbs which held Shiro aloft. Keith sheathed the blade catching Shiro as he plummeted to the ground, leaving Black to finish off the infuriated creature.

“I got you,” Keith grunted as they dropped down.

Shiro glanced up, his eyes hooded, “Keith? You found me.”

“Always,” Keith replied with a soft smile.

Keith collected Shiro in his arms, lifting him up to take him into Black’s open and waiting maw.

* * *

Three days passed before Shiro woke, Keith sat by his side the whole time. His mind was a blur of the torture he had enured at the hands of the Galra. Of being strapped to that table, currents of electricity shooting through him, project  _ kuron _ . 

“Keith?” Shiro’s voice was weak, cracking slightly.

“I’m right here,” Keith sat straighter, his eyes wide.

“How did you find me?” Shiro asked, “I thought I was done for.”

Keith shook his head, “Nah, even if I wasn’t able to make it, you would have gotten out of that one. Trust me on that.”

Shiro smiled weakly, “You’ve always been bad at taking compliments.”

“I’ve gotten somewhat better,” Keith replied with a wry smile, “thanks to a certain person. Why don’t you rest a bit more, you’re safe now on Black.”

Shiro sat up, his long hair falling forward, “Shouldn’t we get back to the Castle? What are we doing?”

Keith licked his lips, “I can’t take you back there, right now.”

“What is happening Keith?”

Keith closed his eyes, shivering as he heard the low commanding tone from Shiro. No,  _ not Shiro, _ this was the clone. Though he was so similar, right now Shiro was inside the conscience of Black from this time. 

“Are you sure you are up for this?” Keith asked with a wry look.

Shiro sat forward, one hand stretched out onto Keith’s shoulder, “You know you can tell me anything, also I feel as though I have been sleeping forever. I need to get up at some point.”

Keith chuckled, “Fair, but before I get into everything let’s get you something to eat and drink. Then I promise I will tell you everything you need to know.”

“What I need to know,” Shiro paused, “so there will be more but you won't be able to say?”

Keith bit his lip uncertain of how to answer that. How do you tell your best friend that you are from the future and that they are just a clone of themselves? That you are selfishly looking for a way to undo some of the shit that happened in order to make life liveable again? It was a lot to take in, and Keith had lived through it all.

As he thought over how he would break things to Shiro, they were interrupted by the massive form of one Space Wolf who poofed himself into Shiro’s lap and began licking his face in excitement.

“What th--” Shiro laughed, “who is this? What is this?”

“Oh, that's my Wolf,” Keith smiled as he scratched the back of his head.

“Just how long have I been gone?” Shiro asked. 

The wolf pushed his head under Shiro’s hand and chuffed as he was scratched under his chin and around his ears.

“Not as long as you might think.” Keith crossed his arms over his chest.

“You can’t expect me to believe that Keith, not after seeing you looking like this. I know you didn’t have that scar on your face, and this wolf. What is his name?” Shiro cooed at the wolf, “You are such a good boy aren’t you, what is your name?”’

“He hasn’t told me yet,” Keith replied. 

“He hasn’t--” Shiro shrugged, “you know what, okay. I guess you just have to tell us when you are ready then boy.”

The Wolf huffed out a breath.

“Why don’t we get some food for you and I can tell you more.” Keith said.

Keith helped Shiro to the small sitting area where there was a table and two chairs set up. Their movements were slow and silent, but comfortable as Keith felt the familiar warmth and weight of Shiro’s body against him. He was grateful that he had the Wolf with him, that he was able to break that moment where they were uncomfortable, his moment of uncertainty. Once Shiro was settled at the table with the Wolf laying at his feet, Keith went about making some food and drink for them. 

“This is real coffee,” Shiro gasped as he took the first sip of the hot mug Keith had set in front of him. “How?”

“Those are also real eggs and bacon,” Keith chuckled, as he set the plates down for them both.

“How?” 

Keith took a few bites before answering, “Earth.”

“How long have I been gone?” Shiro shook his head as he asked for the second time, “I thought we couldn’t go back so long as Zarkon was active? Is everyone okay?”

“Well as you know Zarkon is still very active, and yes everyone is alright.” Keith sighed, he needed to rip off the band-aid, “In regards to Earth though, they haven’t been yet, hell I haven’t either in this timeline. These are my supplies from when I left.”

“I don’t understand.” 

“I need to tell you something, Shiro,” Keith swallowed, putting down his fork to wrap his hands around the hot mug, “I’m not from this time, and when we are done I will need you to do something that is going to be so hard for you.”

Shiro reached across the small table, his large calloused hand resting on Keith’s, “You can tell me anything you know that right? We’re friends.”

Keith winced slightly before nodding, “You’re right. You know how you woke up, strapped to that table?”

Shiro’s hand twitched, “How did you know--”

“I know that it was also Ulaz who helped you escape, guiding you to the ships and dropped the barrier long enough for you to get away.” Keith took a deep breath, “I know because you told me about it, after we had found you. After Black and I came across you the first time, when you were floating in space thinking that you were left for dead. After a bit of time back on the castle ship you told me everything.”

Shiro’s eyes narrowed, “You are talking about something that hasn’t happened.”

“Yet,” Keith corrected, “it hasn’t happened yet, for you. And I guess also for the other me.”

“That was you wasn’t it?”

“What was me?”

“Back on Earth, before this, before Kerberos.” Shiro spoke, his words coming out slowly as he was pulling from an old memory, “In the suit, I remember, it is the same as what you are wearing now.”

“Heh,” Keith scrubbed the back of his head, “yeah, I needed to see you at least once before, you know.”

“You didn’t tell me about this though,” Shiro held up his false hand which earned another wince from Keith. “I don’t regret it though.” he reached out to grasp Keith’s hand, “Thank you for believing in me, and for not holding me back.”

Keith could feel the tears burning behind his eyelids. “I wanted to tell you, but the universe needed you, needed us. I couldn’t have just let you stay there on Earth, even with everything that happened, that will happen. I’m still so sorry though, I --”

Keith felt Shiro’s hand let go, he deserved that, tears fell down his face in silent drops. The sound of the dishes shifting startled Keith for a moment before he was wrapped up in Shiro’s embrace. Keith felt all the tension, all of his concerns and worries wash away if only for a moment as he was held tight against Shiro’s chest. 

Keith had no sense of how long they were like that, holding each other tight. He breathed in the scent that was inherently Shiro, even in the clone version, somehow the witch managed to get that right. 

Shiro pulled away as he felt Ketih tense up slightly, “There was more though, are you okay enough to continue?”

Keith gave a wry smile, “You’ve just dealt with a rather traumatic event and you are asking me if  _ I’m _ okay.”

Shiro shrugged, “What can I say, I’m weak to your tears.”

Keith shook his head, “I can’t believe you said that.”

“Got you smiling though.”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed, “you were always good at that.” Keith picked up his coffee, taking a long sip of the warm liquid. “I have no idea how to tell you this exactly, but you aren’t you anymore.”

“I don’t understand.” Shiro moved back to his seat, “What do you mean?”

“Back when we were battling Zarkon, you didn’t survive.” The words spilled from Keith, “All we could find was Black, and she was empty, there was no trace of you. I spent months searching everywhere, weeks of flying through the vast reaches trying to find any trace of any hope, for any sign of you.”

“But that clearly isn’t true, I’m here now, and see I’m alive.”

“But you aren’t,” Keith licked his lips, “what I mean to say is that this body. Your current body is a clone. The witch made clones of you, hell I’m not even certain that the you who crashed on Earth was really you, for all I know…”

“Breathe Keith,” Shiro was gripping Keith’s hand once more.

“Just,  _ that witch _ is using you, your body.” Keith steadied his breath, “When you died, Black somehow saved your consciousness. So when you died again, while fighting me, Allura was able to pull you back, through Black and into this body.”

“Why was I fighting you?”

“Because the witch had made you into a sleeper agent.” Keith looked to Shiro, he could see that some of it was staying but he wasn’t sure that Shiro really believed him. “I know this all sounds insane, but believe me. While I wish this was really you, this body right now is a clone.”

“But if that is true,” Shiro smiled, “how do I have all of my memories? I remember seeing you that night, or all of the times when we would race through the passes on our hover bikes. The shack. I remember finding the lions, everything up to that fight against Zarkon, how can that not be real. How can I not be real?”

“You are real,” Keith replied, “you just aren’t entirely who you think you are. The druids, they did something, there was a whole damn planet, a station that was filled with bodies, with clones of you.”

“And we fought?” Shiro leaned forward his metallic fingers grazing along Keith’s cheek, “Is that how you got this? Was this my fault?”

Keith gripped Shiro’s hand, “I regret nothing, save that I couldn’t protect you that day.”

“If you regret nothing then why are you here now?” Shiro asked, “What happened that made you come back and have the need to change things?”

“Allura is dead,” Keith blurted out, “as is Lotor.”

“Lotor?”

“Shit,” Keith rubbed his face, “I forgot, you wouldn’t have met him yet. I mean, the guy was a pompous asshole at times, but he wasn’t horrible. He didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

“No,” Shiro shook his head, “I know who he is, I’m wondering how you know him. Why do you even know his name. How?”

“The arena right?”

Shiro nodded, “I never met him, but it wasn’t like people didn’t talk about the Prince and his Generals. How he had a sadistic side, and would often go into the arena for fun to work through stress.”

“He…” Keith hesitated, “he actually isn’t as bad as you might think. And there will come a time where he will save you all, and will even be accepted as part of the team.”

“But he dies?”

Keith nodded, “Yes, along with Allura. He gets corrupted by the quintessence and goes insane. When he got trapped… just, it isn’t pretty and he didn’t survive.”

“And Allura?”

“She does something stupid,” Keith sighs, “she then sacrifices herself to bring back the universe, restoring Altea along with the Galran homeworld.”

“This is a lot Keith,” Shiro leaned back rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“We still have some time,” Keith nodded, “for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

Keith went to get up only to be stopped by Shiro’s hand.

“We are on Black right now right?”

Keith nodded, “Yeah, why?”

“Why can’t I hear her?” 


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to preface this with an apology... yes there is an implied death... but I promise it will work out in the end...
> 
> Chapter 8 will be a bit late as I am rewriting a few things, I noticed that in writing this over the course of a year I kind of had a few blips where I had forgotten details and well we need to fix that problem... [this is also why ch7 wasnt posted on the 24th or 25th...]
> 
> mistakes are my own as I am posting this up before my darling wonderful betas are able to look at it...

###  **Chapter 7**

“It’s been nearly two weeks Keith,” Shiro said as he stretched, nearly half of that time was with him in bed, the majority of that he was unconscious.

“You’re right,” Keith agreed as he moved through the small kitchenette, organizing the supplies he had remaining. 

“What is your plan then?” Shiro asked, “If I am nothing more than a time bomb, what can I possibly do?”

“You have to go back to them,” Keith said, “I can’t think of any other way.”

“But I will hurt them if I’m there.”

“They hurt more when you aren’t there,” Keith sighed, “I hurt-- it just isn’t the same when you were gone. Nothing was right.”

“Keith…”

“You just don’t understand,” Keith spun around looking at Shiro, his hair still long and streaked with the shock of white up front. He was beautiful and wild looking that Keith had to swallow and steady himself before going on. 

“Why don’t you tell me so that I can learn, so that I can understand.”

Keith spent the morning and most of the afternoon explaining things to Shiro, the failures he felt and how it all happened to how he got there. 

“I really think that knowing what you know, you could go back and help them,” Keith accepted a mug of coffee from Shiro, “I mean if you tell Pidge I’m sure that she will know or at least have an idea of what to do about your little…” Keith waved his fingers at Shiro’s head, “ya know. Or her, Hunk, and Coran will come up with something. It's their thing after all. With some time and warning they might be able to help.”

“What happens to you?” Shiro asked, he had patiently listened, asking questions only occasionally. 

“What do you mean?” Keith responded sipping from the mug. 

“When… If I go back,” Shiro spoke, “where does that place you? Do you come with me?”

Keith shook his head, “I don’t think that would work. I mean aside from the fact I would likely kill myself thinking it is a trap, I don’t think it would be good to have both Black lions in the same place. What I can do though is to bring you closer to where we found you. Then I go back to my timeline.”

“So I play the long game as it were.”

Keith smirked nodding, “Yeah I guess it would be like that.”

After a moment of silence Shiro spoke, his voice low but clear. “I remember seeing you back then, on the rooftop. I always wondered where or when you ended up, and if I would ever see you again.”

Keith cave a wan smile, “Guilty. I couldn’t help but to see you right then, it was my own selfish desires.”

“You didn’t tell me about this though,” Shiro gestured to his false arm.

Keith shrugged, “How could I? If I had told you who I was, what you’ve done and gone through leading up to this point. Would you have even believed me? And who was I to try and take away you from all of the people you have helped across the universe. I couldn’t be like him.”

Shiro huffed out a breath, “Adam wasn’t  _ that  _ bad.”

Keith raised an eyebrow looking at Shiro.

“Okay okay,” Shiro nodded, “but you have to admit, he wasn’t really trying to be mean. He was just saying what he thought was for my own good.”

“You aren’t sick anymore,” Keith gestured to Shiro’s wrist where he used to keep his medicine, “I don’t know if you have realized that yet. The witch cured you when she was doing her experiments.”

Shiro flexed his fist in front of his face, “I had wondered to be honest.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Shiro chuckled, “I mean I hadn’t had any real moments of intense pain or episodes since I was captured. Well I should say after my first real fight in the arena. I had an attack just moments before this happened, and it was honestly a stroke of luck that I escaped that fight with only the loss of my arm and this beautiful new scar.”

“You always have looked beautiful Shiro,” Keith smiled softly, “scars don’t change that.”

Shiro reached out, not for the first time to touch the mark on Keith’s cheek, “How do we avoid this from happening again?”

“I think you need Allura for that.” Keith bit his lower lip, pulling at the rough skin.

“Just tell me Keith, it will be okay.”

Keith nodded and sighed, “I think that we need the Princess to put your conscience back inside your head. Black was suggesting it, that putting you all together would likely override the witch’s spell and free you from what happened in my past.”

Shiro nodded, “What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can’t convince Allura to try, and that my conscience is in Black?”

Keith groaned into his arms, “I guess then nothing changes and I have to make another trip to a different point, hopefully figuring out what, how to fix what went wrong.”

“Is the future really that bad?”

Keith looked into Shiro’s grey eyes, so like his Shiro back home, but with that warmth that was missing when he left. “It’s unbearable.”

They made their plans, Shiro would be leaving in the morning with Keith taking him and his little ship just outside of where Voltron would be. They slept together that night, Keith snuggled against Shiro as though he were still a small teenager and not the full grown adult that he was. Shiro didn’t question it, as his arms wrapped around Keith as though they were always meant to be there. In the light of the alien sun, everything would change, and Keith would return to his own time, hopefully entering a wake of change.

* * *

It was hard for Keith to leave Shiro in the middle of nowhere space, but both of them had realized that there was no way for them to get any closer without the current Voltron recognizing the energies from Black. It was already a risk having the two Black Lions in the same quadrant, and they didn’t know what would happen if they touched each other in any way. 

“I don’t entirely like this,” Keith sighed.

Shiro chuckled, “It’s going to be alright Keith, we have already gone over every possibility, this is our best bet.”

“I could stay nearby if for some reason I don’t get to you in time, ya know? As back up.”

“Keith,” Shiro placed his left hand against Keith's face, his thumb brushing over the scar that decorated his cheek, “I know you will find me, whatever it takes. Trust in yourself, it brought you this far.”

Keith grumbled as he leaned into the caress, “I guess.”

“It will be okay, promise.”

Keith watched Shiro’s small ship take off in the direction of the current battle where the rest of the team were. Black purred her reassurance in Keith’s mind’s eye, the comfort of her surrounding him giving him hope that this would work this time. That this would mean change for the better.

With a heavy sigh Keith and Black turned and flew off towards the rift where they would try for their jump back to their own time. Keith hoped that this would be what he needed, what they needed. Preventing deaths that should never have happened and that particular moment.

Only, it wasn’t what he had been expecting. 

The trip through the rift was rough, but in having done this already a few times Keith could almost say he was used to the feeling of being squished and reassembled. The moment space settled around them the console sputtered back to life.

Keith groaned as he rubbed a hand down his face, “You think it worked?”

The radio crackled and a familiar voice called out over the speakers, “Keith? Keith? Are you there? Keith?”

“Shiro?” Keith responded, his voice cracked as he recognized the frantic sound of his once best friend and confidant.

“Keith, are you alright?”

The relief could be felt across the coms.

“I’m fine,” Keith coughed.

“Please tell me you are on your way back here, back home.”

Home, Keith hadn’t thought of Earth as  _ ‘home’  _ in many years. He wondered what had changed in the time he had been gone, just how long he had been gone.

“Keith?”

“uhh,” Keith licked his lips, “just humour me here Shiro, just where is home?”

“Are you sure you’re okay Keith? Do I need to come get you?”

Keith chuckled, “Wouldn’t that be something? I haven’t needed you to pick me up in many years now. No, Black can take me anywhere I need to go.”

“Black? The Black Lion? How did you find her?”

_ Shit _ , Keith thought, “With the help of a certain gremlin we know and love along with a lot of luck and persistence.”

“Keith… that’s impossible, you’ve only been gone four months.”

“Okay,” Keith nodded, not bad for timing, just off a little bit from where he had been hoping. “Not sure how that makes it impossible.”

“Keith… Pidge has been dead for five years now. There is no way she could have helped you find Black.”

Keith felt his whole body run cold, “What do you mean.  _ How _ ?”

“I’m coming for you  _ now  _ Keith, I know there is no way you could have forgotten her death. Sh-sh-she died in your arms.”

“That is impossible.”

“Keith, please come back.” Shiro’s voice was frantic, “I’m tracing the call--”

“I-- aahhh--” Keith screamed, he didn’t care that his mic was open. There were flashes of images and emotions which flooded his brain, years of memories he never had before. 

Things changed, only not in the way Keith had hoped. Allura was still dead, as was Pidge, the memories shifting and coming together like a patchwork quilt, slowly coming into focus as a single image. He remembers finding Shiro, ragged, revealing that he was a clone, all that they had discussed. Of project KURON, and the experiments the witch had been performing. 

Finding his mother, the space whale, and the rifts. Meeting Romelle, and discussing Lotor’s pet project, avoiding fighting with Shiro, there is no scar on his face anymore. At least there isn’t  _ that _ particular one. New scars form and itch along his skin, the memories of these fights drifting to the surface. Other battles, some lost, most won. 

The clones the witch activated and used as a flood of death, Champions programmed to kill. Pidge jumping out in front of a blast intended for him, a last quip as she coughed up blood.

Allura was  _ still  _ dead, and now Pidge.  _ Pidge _ . There is still much that Keith has to do.

Keith finds his voice, “I can’t come home yet Shiro, I can’t let it be like this.”

“No… Keith, you can’t!”

Keith shut off the radio with a heavy sigh, he couldn’t repay Pidge with this future. Not when she had been so good, without her he would never have been able to get this far. 

“Sorry girl,” Keith spoke to Black feeling her press against him, “we have to go back. I can’t let Pidge go this way, Allura the rest, I can’t. I won’t.”

He felt her agreement rumble through his bones, an image of all of the Paladins together with a focus on Green and Pidge flashed through Keith’s mind. 

“Yeah I think so too,” Keith punched in the coordinates for the rift once more.


	8. chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait! I had made quite a few changes on the last few chapters so I really wanted to have my beta do another look over, now that it is completely edited... I bring you the rest. Sorry for the delay, and thank you always for your patience...

###  **Chapter 8**

Keith felt sick as he went through the portal once more.

_ One more time _ , it had become his mantra as he found himself over and over again driving through that damn rift. So many missed opportunities, and so many possible realities. The best of them had been when he spent the whole of Clear Day with Shiro, experiencing the booths and events. They had even shared a soft kiss, but even there, even with that wonderful moment, it all ended too soon with Allura dead at the end. 

Keith felt drained, having lived so many lives he could feel himself aging as he watched and experienced things as they went sideways over and over. Watching as his friends, his found family, each person die, or drift away. Was this all that he had to look forward to? Had he been wrong all along?

“How much more can I endure?” Keith asked out loud.

The Wolf shifted so that his head was on Keith’s lap, while Black purred in the back of his mind. Keith dug his fingers into the wolf’s fur, finding a small measure of comfort in the act. 

Keith stared into the rift which swirled with energy,  _ once more _ .

He wasn’t even sure where he had landed this time, he hoped that it would be what he had been searching for. That key moment, that moment that he could use in order to fix everything that had gone wrong. 

* * *

_ (On Earth...) _

“Why can’t you tell me where he is, Pidge?” Shiro demanded for what felt like the hundredth time that morning.

“Because while Space travel is, Time travel isn’t exactly a science that is studied,  _ Shiro _ .” Pidge replied, her fingers never stopping as they flew along her keyboard. 

“Yes but you are one of the smartest people I know,” Shiro tried again, pacing the lab like a lion in a cage. “Surely if anyone can find Keith it would be you. It isn’t like he would just disappear…”

For the first time Pidge stopped and looked up at Shiro, “I know you are stressed so you probably don’t realize what you are saying. You know how vast it is out there, and even with the Galra and Altean enhanced equipment I have here, tracking one of the Lions is not something I can make a guarantee. Hell, the technology I gave Keith was only an approximation, and I already swept the area where he  _ thought _ the Lions were located--”

Shiro’s communicator rang, Pidge watched as he lifted the device to check who it was before scowling and declining the call. Not more than five seconds later it along with his cell phone was ringing again only to get a growl in response before the call was once more rejected. On the third time Shiro turned down the volume and pinched the bridge of his nose as he put the ringing device in his back pocket. 

“You sure you don’t need to get that?” Pidge asked, an eyebrow raised. “They seem insistant, and I don’t mind waiting. Not that my answer is going to change, but we can hold off arguing the impossible for  _ after _ you take that call.”

“It's fine,” Shiro growled.

“Things not going so well at home?” Pidge asked, noticing the flinch as she mentioned  _ home _ . “Oof, that good huh?”

Shiro deflated with a heavy sigh, “It isn’t that, it's just… What I mean to say is that It’s not--”

“Keith?” Pidge finished for him.

Shiro scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, “I thought this was better, that it was what he wanted.”

Pidge snorted, “You are a huge idiot sometimes Shiro, you didn’t do this for Keith. Why would you even think that, marrying some rando, whose name I didn’t even know until you made your vows,” Shiro winced, “would make Keith happy?  _ Quiznack, _ Shiro. I really wonder what goes through that brain of yours.”

“What if he is successful?” Shiro asked, not wanting to probe further into the many ways he had fucked up. “What happens to us? To all of this? As it is I have had these headaches, and dreams…”

Pidge shrugged, “It isn’t as though there is anything documented on how exactly time travel works. Perhaps we will notice something, but there is also the probability that it would create a new parallel world. Sort of like what Slav was talking about before, and what we have experienced back before we found you. The dreams and headaches are likely part of that, if you wouldn’t mind, could you tell me more about those dreams?”

Shior coughed, a faint pink tint colouring his ears as he remembered one particular dream. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Pidge let out a mock gasp, “ _ Shiro! _ Language!”

Shiro snorted, “I actually understood that reference.”

Pidge cackled, “Nice, glad that Lance is keeping you up to date on film and entertainment. Okay now, Shoo Shoo Old Man, let me work before Iverson decides to come in for an inspection and finds me fraternizing.”

“As if he would complain about his Golden Girl,” Shiro shook his head, “pfft  _ Old Man. _ Guy comes back from the dead, has his essence poured from a void space into a clone only to come out with his hair changed from it, and I get called an ‘old man’. The audacity.”

“Yep,” Pidge said, looking back to her screen and ignoring Shiro once more, “Also would you answer the phone before your husband comes marching over here to look for you. I don’t want him in my lab; last time he was here he touched one of my experiments and pushed back the research several weeks.”

Shiro groaned as he pulled out his still ringing comm. 

“You know that no one else can deal with this for you Shiro.” Pidge leveled her gaze. “Not even Keith could make  _ that _ better.”

“I don’t have to like it though,” Shiro grumbled.

“Just means that you should deal with it all sooner rather than later,” Pidge shrugged. 

Shiro left the lab rubbing the back of his head, things were changing around him. He didn’t know how to explain it to Pidge, there was a brief moment where he barely remembers Pidge not existing, as though she had died. He was feeling messed up and confused, each morning waking with new memories, with old ones whispering at him like old ghosts.

As confusing as everything was, the first person who was on the forefront of his mind upon waking was always the same.

_ Keith. _

And there went his communicator once more; with a heavy sigh Shiro took the call, groaning the moment he heard the complaints on the other end.

* * *

Keith didn’t know where he was headed anymore, he felt as though he were going insane as he and Black flew through the blackest areas of space. Her hum like a purr lulling him into a dreamlike state as he curled up in the pilot seat. The Wolf’s muzzle firm on his lap, and fingers tangled in the soft fur. 

His dreams were always the same, he would start on a plane. Keith would recognize it as the inner void that the Lions held within them. He had visited once on his own when he first learned about Shiro’s death. The void was empty, there was nothing else recognizable save the vast purple-blue expanse of the space. The entire time Keith would find himself wandering the empty space screaming for Shiro, for anyone to come to him and his aid. He would scream until his voice was hoarse, only to wake back in his bunk coated in a sheen of sweat in realization that it was nothing more than a nightmare. 

Keith opened his eyes, trying to stretch his limbs from the awkward way he had been sitting in his pilot’s chair. He had been able to avoid the nightmare that had been plaguing him. Traded it in for screaming back and joints and disjointed rest that was anything but restful. 

“I guess we should head back and see what has happened now,” Keith murmured to the Lion and Wolf.

Black purred in agreement while the Wolf stretched and licked Keith’s face.

Keith flipped a few switches on his display panel and set their course for Earth. If things were still as they were before he had left, while it wouldn’t be perfect, at least it was a demon he knew. Keith made the decision that whatever the course he would just live with it. Maybe he would start going back to taking on missions with the Blades that would take him to the far reaches so that he would never have to come back. It might just work out best if he didn’t return at all.

Keith was spiralling when his panel lit up and a familiar voice broke over the radio.

“Keith you out there?” Pidge’s voice crackled over the open comm.

Keith sat forward, feeling his chest swell; at least he did something right and Pidge was alive.

“Pidge!?”

“Oh thank Quiznak you are alright.” The relief was palpable in Pidge’s voice.

Keith chuckled wanly, “That might be up for debate on just how ‘alright’ I am, but yes. It’s me, Pidge. Good to hear your voice again.”

“Let’s see if I can get your coordinates… one moment… QUIZNAK… work, you stupid-- ahhhh… okay there!”

Keith was grinning as he heard Pidge struggling with the technology on her end until a small screen scrambled to life showing the image of her face. She was looking tired herself, but otherwise the same as when he had left.

“There we are!” Pidge smirked.

“You were just trying to get the video thing working?” Keith asked.

“Of course,” Pidge’s eyebrow raised. “How can I give you a proper dressdown if I am unable to see your face?”

“I-- what?”

“Do you have ANY idea how concerned everyone here has been?” Pidge lectured.

“You  _ knew _ what I was doing, Pidge,” Keith replied.

“Yes but I wasn’t thinking everyone and their damn dog would be harassing me day in and day out. Interrupting me while I worked, needing to know  _ exactly _ where you were at all times.”

“I’m sorry if my Mom was on you for that,” Keith mumbled.

“Your mother was never a problem,” Pidge’s eyes narrowed.

Keith’s eyebrows knitted, “If not Mom, who? I mean, I guess Hunk might ask, or Lance, but last I remember they were busy with their own things.”

Pidge huffed out an exasperated breath. “Are you seriously that dense? I should kno-- oh look, it's my stalker… you know, I am just gonna leave this one to you.” Pidge looked to Keith, her gaze narrowed. “Just remember this is your own fault, and you deserve this.”

Keith watched, confused as Pidge looked over off-screen and then stood up, indicating to whomever it was to take over her seat in front of the holo. Of all the people who Keith assumed it could have been, seeing the familiar chiseled face of one Takashi Shirogane was not what he was expecting. Shiro looked much like he did before Keith had left, a bit older, more tired. He looked like a man who had been up for nights on end.

“Shiro?”

“Keith!” Shiro slumped slightly. “Thank everything that you are alright. I know you are strong and independent, but Keith, this was too dangerous! Why didn’t you tell me where you were going??”

Keith felt a rush of emotion flood over him, how could he tell Shiro that he had left  _ due _ to him? That it was his own inequity that had caused his abrupt departure. 

“It wasn’t something I could discuss with you,” Keith mumbled. 

“I could have helped you,” Shiro said, his voice cracking.”

Keith shook his head. “You had just gotten married, it isn’t like you were going to then just jettison off back into space.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance.”

Keith’s eyes narrowed, “Like you did?”

“I… Wait… What?”

“You went off and got engaged to some random cutout no one had ever heard of!” Keith unloaded. “It wasn’t like you had dated that idiot at all, or ever introduced him to your supposed best friend. All of a sudden you announce there will be a wedding and that you are marrying the same asshole who ordered your ex to his death. Don’t think I didn’t know that little bit of information about him.”

With each accusation Shiro looked more and more abashed.

“And who the fuck actually retires at twenty-seven?” Keith continued, now that he was going he wasn’t about to let any of it go. “Your entire dream in life was to fly in space, to discover new things in the realm of space flight. And what? After everything we have been through, that’s it? You are done? You are twenty-fucking-seven, you aren’t decrepit. Hell, you aren’t even sick anymore thanks to so much weird alien shit that happened to you, to us along the way. I just,” Keith huffed out a defeated breath. I just don’t get it.”

Keith was breathing heavily, he wanted to scream or cry, or both. He did the thing he swore he wouldn’t do in that he told Shiro  _ everything _ . He unloaded his gripes, his major issues that spurred him on. Though it wasn’t everything, it was everything pertinent to Shiro. With only one exception. He still hadn’t told Shiro exactly how he felt about him, that could wait for another outburst, later.

“I’m sorry that was… a lot.” Keith said after the silence stretched.

“No,” Shiro spoke up. “No Keith, you have every right to feel that way. I’m an idiot. I thought all this time, that I was doing what was ‘right’.”

“How is any of this ‘right’?” Keith asked, “Doesn’t it all feel wrong?”

Shiro huffed out a breath, “You know, since you left my memories have been flooding at me, though many times they feel like dreams that come and go with the morning light.”

“Dreams?”

“I remember waking up in the Black Lion after escaping the Galra that second time,” Shiro looked at Keith pointedly, “I also remember meeting my first real alien just before launching.”

“I can explain…” Keith replied, flushing.

Shiro shook his head, “I know its been hard, but you have been messing with the timeline too, haven’t you Keith?”

Keith bit his lower lip, “A bit.”

“You know that isn't responsible,” Shiro lectured, “you have no idea what kind of consequences you might have unleashed. What worlds you might have destroyed in the process, whole civilizations gone, just because of your own selfish desires. You are making me sound like Slav, and you know it isn’t okay.”

The  _ ‘but’  _ hung between them, Keith couldn’t help but to voice it.

“But,” Shiro continued, “each time those new memories would weave around me, and some would disappear leaving the barest of traces. Even those ones, they always brought the same feeling of peace that you were there. You were always looking out for me. I’m sorry that I made you feel that desperate, but before you decide to jump or do anything more, do you think that you could come home first?”

Keith smirked. “Yeah, I am headed back to Earth. I am tired of travelling. Tired of not finding the right answer to fixing what went wrong.”

“Sometimes it is just the way it is,” Shiro agreed. “I am happy that you will be returning. I have news, but it isn’t something I want to tell you over this. When you get back I will be waiting for you at our place.”

Keith could feel his face heating up,  _ our place _ . He nodded, “See you then.”

Keith was getting ready to shut off the video when Shiro protested, “Could you leave it on for a bit.”

“Why?” Keith asked.

“I just missed seeing you,” Shiro flushed slightly, “it's been a while.”

Keith chuckled, feeling self conscious, “Is that so? Just how long have I been gone? Time, uhh, has no real meaning for me right now.”

“Its been a year since you left,” Shiro replied as he looked down at something. “A year to the day actually.”

“Wait, to the day?” Keith’s eyes narrowed, “Isn’t it your wedding anniversary?”

Shiro rubbed the back of his head, a nervous thing from long before. “That would have been a few weeks ago, I guess.”

“Oh,” Keith looked down, “right.”

He had  _ meant _ to leave that night, but it had taken some time for Pidge and Kolivan to help him get ready for the excursion. There was some noise in the background where Shiro was, making the older man look over and respond. 

“Sorry Keith,” Shiro sighed, “looks like I do actually have to go, but I look forward to seeing you when you arrive back home.”

_ Home. _ Earth hadn’t been that for a very long time, and Keith doubted that it would be any more so when he arrived. Perhaps at least this time he would be able to give a proper farewell.

“See you then,” Keith responded as the screen went dark and he was alone in his thoughts once more. 

The Wolf nudged at Keith’s hand, forcing his head under for a pet, letting out a small whine when Keith wasn’t giving him attention.

“Yeah, we are headed back.” Keith replied with a sad smile. “I’m just not sure how long we can stay, Baby. I don’t know if I can be on the surface for too long before wanting to escape once more. You can always stay with Mom and Kolivan if you want to, though.”

The Wolf sneezed in Keith’s direction as though in disgust, causing a chuckle to burst from him.

“Okay okay, I get it.” Keith scruffed up the fur around his face, “Whatever happens, we do it together. We are a team, right Boy?”

The Wolf’s tail thumped behind him in agreement.


	9. chapter 9

##  Chapter 9

Keith took his time leaving Black’s hold, he paced the inner hanger as though he had forgotten something only to get teleported by the Space Wolf.

“Damnit Wolf!” Keith growled.

“Keith!” Matt called out, “Good to see you, man.”

“Uhh yeah hey,” Keith replied, ducking his head a bit as Matt came over and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“We were worried for you,” Matt said with a chuckle. “Don’t stay away so long next time.”

_ If only you knew, Matt, _ Keith thought darkly to himself. “I’m actually just here briefly, to resuppl--”

“Like hell you are.”

Keith shivered as he heard the low commanding voice of Shiro, his hair white as he remembered, a smile on his face, and wearing glasses. 

( _ The glasses were a bit weird, but also hot _ )

Keith didn’t have a chance to respond before Shiro had pulled him in for a tight hug, forcing Matt to back away from them. It took a few moments before Keith melted against the larger man, breathing in his scent of aftershave and slight musk of sweat. It was all Keith could do to stifle the moan when they broke apart.

“You were gone too long,” Shiro said, “I’m sorry I was late, Iverson needed to speak with me on something.”

Keith stepped back slightly nodding. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Shiro scratched the back of his head.

“Why would Iverson need to speak with you?” Keith asked, as he looked down to the Wolf to avoid staring at Shiro. “I thought you were retired n shit.”

Shiro chuckled and crouched to pet the large wolf, his face coming into direct view. “I might have started teaching over at the Garrison. You’re right, retirement was boring and stupid at twenty-seven, well eight now.”

Keith snorted, “No shit.”

Just like the old days, Keith fell into pace with Shiro, allowing the older man to lead the way. He recognized their path, as they headed to Pidge’s lab.

“We seeing Pidge?”

Shiro nodded, “Yes, she said she had wanted to discuss something with you the moment you landed and then said she would do something to me if I didn’t deliver.”

“Pfft,” Keith chuckled, “yeah, no point in angering her, she might be small but she is fierce.”

Shiro slowed his pace, with Keith matching as they fell side by side; Keith felt his skin prickle everytime that Shiro would bump into him. 

“I missed you, you know.”

Shiro’s voice was soft, causing Keith’s steps to falter slightly. “Oh?”

“There were many times where I just wanted to call and I couldn’t.”

Keith snorted, “Isn’t that why you get married, so you have someone always there?”

Keith walked forward, not realizing that Shiro had stopped behind him. He turned, looking up for the first time, seeing Shiro just standing there waiting.

“Finally.”

“Finally? What, Shiro?”

“Finally, you are looking at me.”

“What are you doing?” Keith scowled, “I thought that Pidge was waiting on us.”

“She is, it's just that until now you have been avoiding all eye contact. You left so shortly after the wedding, I thought that you hated me.”

“Shiro I don’t even have the words--” Keith didn’t have the spoons to deal with this, as it was he had been through so many realities. So many versions of Shiro, he wasn’t even sure that this was the same one he had left behind.

“I know, Pidge explained it to me. Kind of.”

“Oh?”

“I’m sorry, Keith.”

“What? Why? It wasn’t you--”

“Keith.”

Shiro’s tone was firm, enough to send a shiver down his spine.  _ Fuck. _

“I’m not married anymore.”

Keith gasped,  _ what the hell?  _ “Didn’t you say that your anniversary was last month?”

Shiro scratched the back of his head, “I didn’t  _ exactly _ say that.”

“Shiro--” 

Keith was cut off as the hall around them shimmered to a white light and they were teleported directly into Pidge’s lab.

“Damnit Wolf!”

“Took you two so long I sent Kosmo to find you,” Pidge’s voice met Keith and Shiro, “Are you still calling Kosmo ‘Wolf’?”

“He will tell me his name when he is ready,” Keith grumbled as he ruffled the wolf’s soft fur. 

“Whatever,” Pidge rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to get you here before you said anything or saw something that you shouldn’t. I assume you found what you were looking for?”

Keith shook his head, “No.”

“Okay, well what do you know from before?”

“Wait,” Keith shook his head, “how do you even know what is happening?”

Pidge snorted, “Who the hell do you think you are talking to? I snuck into the Garrison under a pseudonym at fourteen. Keeping track of something like parallel worlds is child’s play.”

“You looked  _ exactly _ like Matt, just shorter,” Keith countered. “You fooled exactly no one.”

Pidge crossed her arms over her chest. “I fooled Lance, and Hunk.”

“Hunk transferred in after Matt left, and Lance is an idiot.”

“Keith!” Shiro scolded.

Keith shrugged, “I’m not taking it back, the guy is a moron.”

“He’s not  _ that  _ bad,” Pidge chuckled.

“C’mon Pidge, the guy hit on anything that presented even remotely female. Often needing someone else to first tell him that they were female.”

“Okay,” she conceded, “he can come on a little strong at first. He has settled down as he has aged. You are just mad he gave Kosmo his name and that you didn’t come up with it first.”

“Can we just move on?” Shiro asked before Pidge could counter.

Keith blew out a heavy breath, “He is still a moron.”

“Of course,” Pidge pushed her glasses up as she turned to her system. “Okay, so when you left, what was the world state?”

Keith cocked an eyebrow, “What difference would that make?”

Pidge looked over to him, “I am asking the questions here, just answer for me please. What was the last thing you remember?”

“How far back did you want me to go?” Keith asked, “I mean when I left, both Altea and Diabazaal were restored, all at the cost of Allura’s life.”

“Okay,” Pidge held up her hand in Shiro’s direction, indicating it was not his turn. “Ignore him, go on. Anything else?”

Keith glanced over to Shiro, confused as he saw the older man looking far too innocent to be convincing. “What are you two up to?”

“I said ignore him. What else? Any other deaths?”

Keith’s eyes narrowed but he continued, “Yeah, Lotor was killed in the rift when we were fighting him. Other than that, no one else died. Well unless you count Zarkon, Hagar, and Sendak.”

“All three?”

Keith nodded, feeling confused. “Yeah. Uhh, Lance got scale things on his face just when Allura disappeared. He is now a farmer or something ridiculous with that cow of his.” Keith shut his eyes trying to think back to before all of the jumps. “Oh, Shiro was a clone, and died. Twice. He gave me this scar, and then after I told him I loved him, and brought him back to life, he married some background character.”

“Keith--”

“Hush Shiro ” Pidge snapped at Shiro, who was looking pained. “Go on.”

Keith huffed out a breath, “I dunno. Nothing much really, can you tell me what all of that was about?”

“Pidge cocked her head. “Before Lotor died, did he say anything about what he had done in the past?”

“The colonies?” Keith nodded. “Mom and I are the ones who brought Romelle back just after the space whale, of course I remember the colonies.”

“Okay, “ Pidge nodded.

“How different is it? What has changed here?”

“Well the big one, Allura and Lotor are both very much alive and well.”

Keith collapsed against the one workbench, pressing his face in his hands. “Oh, something went right this time.”

“Uhh, just wait before you decide that.” Pidge shifted her glasses up once more, “Lotor did tell us about the colony, and we were able to assist them getting off of the planet with his help. Now he, Lance, and Allura have this triad thing.”

Keith looked up, his head cocked, “Really?”

Shiro chuckled, “Yeah, they took a while to get through some of their differences.”

I can’t even picture it,” Keith shook his head.

“Don’t worry Keith, you will be beyond bored of it the moment you see them together.”

“Pidge!”

“Don’t  _ Pidge _ me Shiro,” Pidge scolded. “Oh, something that is the same, both Zarkon and Sendak are definitely dead and gone. We only assume that the Witch died, we watched as she walked into the tear with Allura, but only the Princess returned.”

“I honestly didn’t expect that about Allura,” Keith spoke, running a hand through his hair. 

“Why is that?” 

“The Allura star cluster is still there, it is where I went to collect Black and where I popped out on my most recent jump.”

“Allura star cluster?”

“Yeah, the nebula that we found before I left.”

Pidge shook her head, “Other Pidge did not put that into the program, I wonder if it was just something we didn’t think about or was after the first creation of this thing. Curious, I will have to have you show me the coordinates later.”

“Of course,” Keith nodded. “I know that the Lions missed everyone. Anything else change?”

“Well, you said that the two extinct planets came back?”

Keith nodded, “Did that not happen here?”

Shiro spoke as Pidge shook her head, “No, we did though help the Galra to rebuild and they in turn also helped the Altean colonies reestablish themselves. The Blades were a large part of that, as were you.”

Keith felt new memories press into his head, this was the worst part when it came to changes that were in his timeline. It wasn’t as though they rewrote, rather they just added themselves in, mixing with the old memories. Sometimes the new ones were delayed. There would be a blast of pain in his head, though usually it would come while he was alone in the cabin of Black. This is not what he wanted now, Keith cried out as he collapsed to the floor, only the sound of Shiro’s panicked cry of his name echoing as the darkness took over.


	10. chapter 10

##  Chapter 10

Keith woke up in a bed, only it wasn’t inside Black’s cabin, this was a bedroom. More specifically it was the one that Shiro called home in the Atlas,  _ why the hell was he in Shiro’s bed on the Atlas? _

“What the hell?” 

“Oh you are awake?” Shiro startled, hearing Keith’s voice and seeing him move. “Are you okay?”

“Uhh yeah,” Keith sat up; he always felt groggy post-memory surge, “where am I?”

“Uhh, my room on the Atlas,” Shiro said sheepishly. “It’s just I didn’t know where else to go, and Pidge was saying that it was likely something to do with memories realigning themselves in your head. That going to the medical centre wouldn’t help you…”

Keith groaned, rubbing his face, the scent from Shiro’s sheets making it hard for him to concentrate. He also made note of the fact that he was wearing only his undergarments, his flight suit no longer on. 

“Oh, yeah. I appreciate it Shiro, just… why  _ your _ room? Won’t your husband be a bit upset that you have another man in your bed?”

“I’m not married, Keith.”

“Did I hit my head? Cause I still remember there being a wedding.”

Shiro coughed, his face flushing as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Well I  _ was _ married, and now I’m…  _ not.  _ I did try to tell you, just before we went to see Pidge, but I can imagine that a lot of that might have been forgotten. Between the influx of information and the fainting and all.”

Keith looked around. It was true, there were no other signs of anyone else living there with Shiro. And despite his being ‘retired’, the room smelt strongly of Shiro, as though he had been living there for a while. There were no photos of  _ that day _ save for one, it was the only one Keith allowed of himself, where Shiro’s arm was wrapped around his shoulders. If it weren’t for Keith’s sullen face, one might have thought that it were their wedding with both men in white tuxedos. 

“Yeah you did say something about that,” Keith sighed, slumping back in the bed. “Okay, but why  _ this  _ room?”

Shiro took on a sheepish look once again, “Uhh that would be Kos--I mean your Wolf, I asked for him to take us somewhere safe and--”

Keith groaned, of course the Wolf would do that, it was just their nature. “I swear that wolf just--”

“Did I do something bad? I mean I didn’t know if you wanted everyone to know you were here. You tend to prefer sneaking in and out without alerting everyone.”

Keith’s groan turned into a low chuckle, “I think the moment I showed up in a Lion that everyone assumed was lost to the Galaxy kinda killed any idea of stealth.”

“True,” Shiro chuckled with a soft blush tinting his cheeks.

“So can I ask what happened? Between you and uhh,  _ him? _ ”

“Uhh yeah, but can we do that not in my bed?”

Keith snorted, “Sure, but first, where are my pants?”

Shiro chuckled, “Yeah sorry, I didn’t think it was good to sleep in your flight suit, I remember how uncomfortable they can get after a while. Let me just grab you something.”

Keith watched as Shiro puttered around the room pulling out some of his own sweats and a tee shirt. He didn’t feel like correcting Shiro on just how comfortable the BOM suits were, as he enjoyed watching Shiro as he carefully picked out things. Though what was chosen told Keith that he wasn’t expected to be leaving at any point soon.

“Here, these will likely be a bit large on you.”

Keith chuckled, “Easily, but it's appreciated.”

Keith pulled on the clothing; he bit his lower lip as he willed himself to not pop a boner right there. He tugged the draw string, pulling it as tight as it could go while the height was alright, Shiro was thicker in the waist and chest, so everything hung off of him slightly. Once clothed, Keith glanced over to see Shiro was openly staring, his face flushed and jaw slightly open. It took a moment for Shiro to snap out of it enough to direct them out of the bedroom.

“Would you like something to drink? Some coffee?” Shiro coughed, trying to pull himself back in order.

Keith groaned in appreciation, “Oh yes, please, I ran out of the good stuff somewhere in my fourth jump. I underestimated how much I would need, and didn’t expect that you-- I mean, you probably don’t want to hear about those...”

They made their way to the living area which made up Shiro’s quarters; his were a set of rooms, with a main area for receiving guests along with a small galley kitchen so that he didn’t have to always go down to the cantine for his meals. Not that it was a room which Shiro used often, known for burning the majority of the dishes he would set to make. Shiro’s inability to make even the simplest of things had become the running joke of the team. 

What they didn’t know, though, was that there were a few things which Shiro excelled at in the kitchen, which included making rather delicious coffee, and certain cakes. The only one who knew about that side of him was Keith, and it was something he took pride in. He tucked his legs under himself on the sofa smiling as Shiro brought over a fancy looking coffee and a plate with some of his cinnamon swirl coffee cake.

“Sorry it isn’t much, or something from Hunk.” Shiro apologized as he got his own drink and plate. “I may not be able to make a lot of things, but this was always something I could remember.”

Keith moaned in pleasure as he took a bite of the cake. “No, this is perfect, I love it.”

Shiro chuckled, watching Keith eat, how he had almost eaten the whole slice before placing it down in favour of his drink. Keith had grown so much since he had last seen him, it was a trend, Keith would go away and come back bigger, stronger, and stirring more things than Shiro cared to admit inside of him.

“I do want to hear about it,” Shiro spoke, he had heard Keith earlier. “I want to know what you went through. Some of it I remember, like flashes in dreams or in some cases nightmares. Not tonight, but one day, when and if you are ready to talk about it.”

“Thanks Shiro,” Keith smiled, looking into his mug.

“Of course.”

The pair sat in silence for a moment before Keith cleared his throat. “So, tell me what happened?”

Shiro drank some of his coffee before answering, “I want to know why you took off afterwards.”

“Okay.”

“Basically we just realized we didn’t love each other.”

Keith snorted, “If you think that is enough of a reason, I could have told you then that you didn’t love that person, you didn’t even know who he was before you were announcing you were getting married to--”

Keith couldn’t even finish his sentence, he could feel the surge of jealousy and anger over everything that had happened.

Shiro sighed, “I’m not sure what else to say, though. Perhaps it was the infatuation of the idea of being married.”

“I literally told you that I loved you, and you ended up shutting me out and marrying some background asshole who ordered your ex to his death.”

Shiro winced, “That is a bit harsh; it isn’t like he was the one who made the order. He was following what Samda had told him to do, as so many others did. He was following the chain of command.”

“He is still the last voice that Adam heard before Zarkon’s people killed him.”

“You didn’t even like Adam, I have no idea why you are trying to defend him here.”

Keith shook his head, “Marrying Adam would have made more sense, compared to what happened. Also I didn’t  _ hate _ Adam, it was more he would always lecture me and I didn’t like what he had done to you.”

“Now what was the reason you had left?”

Keith put down his drink beside his half eaten cake. “Fine, since you won’t tell me the truth, let me tell you why I left. Yes, part of it was that sham of a wedding, it didn’t feel right, so many things felt so wrong.

You were with us, seeing Allura sacrifice herself, taking that Witch with her as though all were forgiven and her dying. Just knowing and seeing Allura take on the negative energy, that was  _ not  _ her. It didn't make sense after all that we had experienced and had come to know as her personality. She was stronger than the Witch, that she would make the same mistake made no damn sense to me.

And the way that Lotor was left in the rift to die, this was not right on so many levels. I knew that we had gotten something wrong along the way. I wanted to see if there was a way to correct it, to fix where we stepped wrong, try and prevent the travesty that was our present state.”

“Isn’t that rather selfish though? Trying to undo all that we had done, our legacy as Voltron?”

“If our legacy was to allow someone like Lotor, who while was not the greatest individual, and who made some mistakes. Mistakes I might add that were due to his shitty upbringing by his parents. That he was unable to redeem himself while that  _ Witch _ and Zarkon got to have some kind of peace? Then to allow Allura to die? If that was the legacy of Voltron? I wanted no part of that.” Keith felt his skin crawl, “Your sham of a wedding was just the icing on the shit cake.”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked, genuinely confused, “You said that before too?”

Keith shook his head, “What part?”

“You said that before too, about Allura and Lotor dying.”

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose, that’s right, they were now alive in this reality. Which meant that he was successful somewhere.

“In my reality, the one where I originally left. There Lotor was dead, killed inside the rift where we left him. And Allura sacrificed herself, bringing back the dead planets Altea and Diabzaal as a trade. As though it makes up for what was lost.”

Shiro moved to the sofa sitting beside Keith, “None of that happened here, neither planet came back and Allura and Lotor are both alive and well.”

“But it still happened, to me, to the world and reality I left behind.”

Shiro tentatively wrapped an arm around Keith, pulling him in. “I’m so so sorry. You have been suffering and I didn’t see it, I didn’t  _ want  _ to see it.”

Keith melted against Shiro’s chest. “It isn’t like it was your fault, this is a whole other reality, technically it never happened.”

He couldn’t help it, no matter what happened, what would happen, he still was so in love with Shiro. 

“You’re right though.”

“About what?” Keith asked, his face firmly buried in Shiro’s pecs, not willing to move quite yet as he breathed in Shiro’s scent and listened to his heart beat.

“I was a coward marrying him,” Shiro pulled Keith in tighter. “I remember you saying that you loved me, and I panicked. I thought that loving me meant you would be ruining your future, your life. You had already wasted so much focusing on me, I remember all the stories when I had disappeared.”

“You had died, and then were cloned.”

“Yeah,” Shiro winced, his heartbeat rising slightly, “The fact that you had pushed yourself when I had  _ died _ , and would go out trying to comb the Universe for any sign that I was still there.”

“I didn’t regret that then, and I don’t regret it now.” Keith grumbled. “Hell, given the chance to do it over again, I wouldn’t change that fact.”

Shiro chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating against Keith’s cheek. “You did have the chance for a do over, the fact that it still happens just goes to show that you would still do the same thing.”

“As many times as it takes.”

Shiro pushed Keith back from him, “You know that wasn’t supposed to become a mantra for your basically trying to commit suicide anytime I stub a toe, you know?”

“Are you complaining, Shiro?” Keith’s eyes narrowed. “I swear, if you weren’t so clueless I wouldn’t have to risk my life so often.”

Shiro pushed back a stray hair. “So you are saying I should just stay by your side, then?”

“I…” Keith was at a loss for words.

“Cat get your tongue?” Shiro teased.

“In a manner of speaking, you know what that sounds like, right?”

“If it sounds like I am asking you to give me another chance? Then yes.”

“Wh-what?”

“You are right, I jumped into something like marriage with someone I barely knew. I thought that if I did that, that you could move on to find someone better suited for you. I had hoped that while I might not have  _ loved _ that person, that I would perhaps eventually learn to.”

Keith snorted, “Worked out well for you.”

“Why are you such a brat?” Shiro teased.

“I won’t pretend to be someone I’m not, especially not with you, Shiro.”

“Good,” Shiro cupped the side of Keith’s face with his hand, his thumb rubbing over his lips. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

“Shiro?” Keith’s voice was soft like a whisper, his eyes glassy, threatening to spill over.

“I’m tired of running away.”

Shiro closed in the small distance, their lips connecting hesitant at first, Keith let out a small growl as he gripped Shiro’s shirt and climbed onto his lap, deepening the kiss. They clung to each other, kissing and grinding against each other, as though starved.

They only broke the moment they heard the familiar sound of the Wolf as it teleported into the room.

“So this is happening?” Keith asked, worried that the spell would be broken now.

“So long as you will have me, I’m done running.”

Keith grinned, hugging Shiro tightly, “As many times as it will take.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its all over... or at least this part is... I have an explicit Epilogue which I will be posting up either in a few hours or perhaps tomorrow...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed what is honestly the longest time before these two kissed fic... 
> 
> The next part to this is just literally all sex... set a while after the end of this fic

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, this will update once (maybe twice) a week until completion. You can find me on Twitter for more fics and chatter! My asks/DMs are always open!  
> [@francowitch ](https://twitter.com/francowitch)  
> I do apologize if there are any inconsistencies as I post this up, it was a labour of love that took over a year of writing, but sometimes things are missed in the shuffle...


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